Tales From the Spambots - Who's Who of the Hour

We here at the Volidity Report often write about the Man of the Year and the stories [of the stories] of the year, but what about the men of the month, week, day, or...hour??? If even a dog can have its day, why not give man--a more highly evolved creature, with reasoning abilities--smaller units of time? Luckily, there are those who subscribe to this theory *and* wanted to recognize the accomplishments of the Volidity Report:

From: Lisa Davis, Editor
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:40 PM
To: [Herrence Meritocracy]
Subject: Who's Who in Academia (January 2013 edition)

Good morning.
We're writing to let you know that you received Honorable Mention in yesterday's article titled "Who's Who in Academia" by Joseph Bozanek.
The article will remain available at
 http://www.newsdigest.co/news/academia  for the next few hours and is free to view or download.

Wishing you the best of continued success,
Lisa Davis, Editor
News Digest International

Having previously received academic recognition from other Lisas in the past, we here at the Volidity Report were not surprised to be honored in such a way. But the idea of honoring someone for only a set of hours is a potentially a brilliant innovation for the Millennial Generation. As we blog daily, update the Book of Faces hourly, and livetweet our activities minute-by-minute, it is only fitting that we recognize people for their accomplishments over the course of a few Earth hours. When the Volidity Report acquires some unpaid interns or temp workers, expect us to use our tumbling Twitters to honor a "Volid Hero of the Hour" every hour, on the hour. Until then!

-Herrence Meritocracy
Editor-in-Chief, Volidity Report
Who's Who in Academia: January 30, 2013 - 12:00 - 4:00 pm (EST)

Man of the Year 2010

As the Gregorian Calendar has signalled the changing of another year, media institutions such as the Volidity Report are required to make lists pertaining to the previous calendar year and arbitrarily award superlatives. Since arbitrariness is our bread and butter here at the Volidity Report, Your Editor-in-Chief has decided to give out the first annual Man of the Year Award to a colossal and inspiring figure for us all, Shaquille O'Neal.




Even though his biological father didn't bother, Shaquille—or as he is known to his friends: "Shaq", "The Diesel", "Shaq Fu", "The Big Aristotle", "The Big Daddy", "Superman", "The Big Shaqtus", "The Big Galactus", "The Big Baryshnikov", "The Real Deal", "Shaqovic", and (of course) "The Forty Ounce Guzzler"—has risen from humble beginnings to become the quintessential Renaissance man of the new millenium.


Shaq is a star athlete (for 18 seasons[!!]), as we all know, but his skills are far broader than even the length of his Size 22 sneakers! He is a talented actor, musician, an enforcer of the law, symphonic conductor, life coach to the overweight, and the first human to enter The Second World. He is friend to presidents but champion of the common man. As an honorary U.S. Marshall and badge-holding police officer in three states, Shaq is a one-man posse comitatus, with the catch phrase "Tanya says hello", as he arrests various criminal elements. Shaq meets all comers, and has even faced the famed Rachel Ray in the art of cuisine. "Dr. Shaq" has earned an MBA and is well on his way to achieving a Ph.D. He doesn't do drugs and he doesn't drink (though he'll have a Pepsi, to help him think). Shaq even rescued the boy Nezu from the Second World!


Truly a towering figure, Shaquille O'Neal is simply outstanding, and thus the Volidity Report's Man of the Year for 2010. Though it is bold to say, we may even have an early front-runner for the Man of the Millenium as well...

(Shaq is the man [of the year] and that's evident!)