Tales from the Spambots - Top Secret Tech Nazis

Nazis. They're everywhere! Just like vampires! Thankfully, as with vampires, there are also Nazi hunters. For decades, these Van Helsings of Israel pursued their targets across the world to exotic locations like Argentina and Long Island. Many of these war criminals were discovered, repatriated, and tried, but some escaped. Some might argue, "wasn't World War II like a million years ago?" and that these semi-mythical creatures no longer exist. But they are naïve! A hot tip came in to the Volidity Report with some startling information:
----- Original Message -----
From: Edmund Justice
Sent: 12/26/11 02:44 PM
To: ctc-tribletter@tribune.com, letters@courant.com, Letters@globeandmail.com, eletters@starledger.com, editor@tucsonsentinel.com
Subject: Top Secret: Microsoft's co-founder Paul Alan old evil Nazi war criminal

Top Secret
Microsoft's co-founder Paul Alan was an old evil Nazi war criminal who supported Hitler and the Nazis rise to power but after the war lived in disguise for many years, pretended to be a high school student, and rose to enormous business success and financial wealth as co-founder of Microsoft. He is a member of a very old secret society, and is reputed to have conspired to further the ideologies of the old Nazis in various ways in our world.
Edmund Justice
We've all heard the tale of Paul "Alan" Allen, co-founder of Microsoft--the brilliant partner of Bill Gates, who dropped out of college to revolutionize the computer software industry. But this disturbing report indicates that he's even worse than secret Arab Steve Jobs--he dropped out of college in America because he had already been to college--Nazi college. And his support for space travel is probably just an extension of the National Socialist dream of conquering space. We're on to you, "Paulus Allenstein," and there's no chance now that you will escape [Edmund] justice!

Look to the Volidity Report for essays on the future war crimes trial of Paul Allen under the title Allen in Redmond.