12.31.2014

The Top Ten "Top 10" of 2014


Was 2014 the worst year ever? Probably not, if you're someone who is aware of the years that have preceded it, such as 1914 (that is, unless you live in Ukraine). Good or bad, it must be noted that 2014 was a boom year for memes, series of useless books, and listicles, which are "rapidly becoming the lingua franca of new-media journalism." Taking that into consideration, as the Volidity Report is a serious journalistic enterprise, we embark once again on an annual tradition: the ranking of the top ten Top 10 lists from 2014, provided to you in helpful listicle format.

10) Spectator UK: My Top Ten Most Fatuous Phrases
Ron Liddle is right. If all goes well, in 2015, we'll all be using more words like "fatuous".

9) Golf Channel - Top 10 in 2014: Controversies
Were you as upset as we were when Patrick Reed called himself a top-5 player? Why, with declarations like that, he'll never make the top ten of golf statisticians, let alone critics!

8) The Top 10 Most Popular DARPA Stories of 2014
The U.S. government's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency proves it's still on the cutting edge with a self-referential Top 10 list compiled by the best and brightest of social media interns. We're excited to see how the DARPA #brand will grow in 2015!

7) Top 10 Items You're Too Old To Wear
Ladies! Fellas! Time to face the music. You’re just TOO OLD to wear those message T’s! "'The message tee boom was fueled by Young Hollywood [as] a way for people to express frustration.' And that doesn’t exactly come off as mature."

6) TOP 10 shipping container structures of 2014
Do you still think that shipping containers are *just* for shipping things? Then you're in for a rude surprise in 2015 when all your peers will have absorbed the lessons of this important Top 10 list.

5) Top 10 Reasons Libertarians Aren't Nice to You
Had a real Randroid meanie in your life this past year? Chris Cantwell totally gets it - and he's happy to explain why you deserved it!

4) The Top 10 Feminist Hashtags of 2014
As we all know, there's nothing the patriarchy fears more than ideas transmitted on a web platform preceded by a pound sign.

3) Minnesota State Fair Top 10 Places to Poop
If you were like me, you wanted to love the MN State Fair...but there was just no place to drop a load! And in Obama's America, you can’t just poop in the middle of crowded fairs anymore. But worry not Frustrated Fairgoers! Know that Cityblogs has you covered for next year with all the hot spots to squat.

2) Time Magazine: Top 10 Everything of 2014
Somehow anticipating the Volidity Report's meta-approach in trying to cover "everything," Time still managed to leave the assessment of Top 10 lists to us.

1) 10 Things Only I Will Understand
That feeling when Mallory calls you Steamboat...

№ 2, 4, 6, 8 & 9 suggested by Herrence Meritocracy and № 1, 3, 5, 7 & 10 suggested by LK Shov. All methodologies scientific.