Your Editors at the Volidity Report are aware of all internet traditions, and because it is the Holiday Season, we would like to share one with you, our dedicated readers. As the Gregorian calendar year comes to a close, bloggers are reminded of their own transitory vocations and mortal lives and thus are compelled to review the previous 365 days through a variety of means. The most prominent and user-friendly of these is the “Top 10” list. Whether it is comprised of films, music albums, books, or hex-based wargames, these lists quickly summarize the media that one should have consumed before the calendar shifts again. But these lists are so versatile that they allow for any type of information to be easily collated and processed. Thus, the Volidity Report presents to you our summation of the best lists out there on the Internets—our “Top Ten ‘Top 10’ of 2011”:
The Volidity Report presents:
In a contemporary culture characterized by both amnesia and nostalgia, there has arisen a need to declare every new figure or fad to enter the stage “the new ______”. Barack Obama has been no stranger to this phenomenon, alternately being anointed the new FDR, the new JFK, the new Ronald Reagan, the new Herbert Hoover, or the new Jimmy Carter by various segments of the punditry. Of the proclamations of reincarnation that I’ve encountered, I find n+1’s essay on President Obama as Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev to be the most apt; however, I’d like to extend the allusion even further. There are parallels in almost every sector between the Soviet Union in the 1980s and the United States. Most crucially, as in the USSR, an elderly elite—or “gerontocracy”—and their hardline acolytes ferociously resisted structural reform while the economy and society stagnated.
American food culture is much mocked around the world for a host of reasons, which have been partially addressed (and redressed!) by this publication in its examination and reimagining of the Double Down and the McGriddles. But a major divide remains! While Americans nuke frozen TV and AOL dinners in the microwave using the language of war yet with the same passivity of their digital consumption habits, citizens of Old Europe are preparing and eating multi-course meals with varied fresh ingredients of the type served at your average grand-hôtel restaurant.
Luckily, the Volidity Report is on the case. As an idealist publication, the Volidity Report believes that reconciliation between the followers of haute cuisine and the consumers of delicious handheld frozen abominations like Hot Pockets. Wait! Haute cuisine...hot pockets...perhaps the answer can be a combination of the two? Perhaps pairing the intricate preparations and quality ingredients of haute cuisine with the handheld gooey goodness of Hot Pockets? The internet tells me that modern haute cuisine was codified by Georges Auguste Escoffier, and provided for dishes that were served at once, aesthetically pleasing, and prepared by a team of chefs with divided responsibilities. With this in mind, and considering that Escoffier is long dead, we decided to bring in the famed Escoffiette as a consultant.