8.22.2011

The Many Names of 황정리

He is not amused
In honor of the maybe/probable/possible immanent collapse of the Gaddafi/Khaddafy/Qadhafi regime in Libya, I would like to draw attention to another prominent figure whose name can be spelled in quite many ways in our Latin orthography. 황정리--transliterated from Korean through the Revised Romanization and McCune–Reischauer systems as Hwang Jeong-ri and Hwang Chǒng-ri respectively--is an actor and badass martial artist. He is perhaps best known as "Silver Fox" or "The Guy Who Made Jackie Chan Cry," but also served as the chief martial arts instructor for the South Korean army in Vietnam, where he killed a man with a single roundhouse kick in a bar fight. But his illustrious career is muddied by the many names he goes by in the Latin script. To set the record straight, I shall list them all here now (adjusted for name order):
  • Hwang Jang Lee
  • Wong Cheng Lee
  • Wong Cheng Li
  • Huang Jing Lee
  • Wong Ching-Li
  • Huang Jang Lee
  • Wan-Chung Lee
  • Hwang Jeong-li
  • Hwang Jeong-ri
  • Huong Cheng-Li
  • Wang Cheng Li
  • Wang Jang Lee
  • Wong Chung Li
  • Wong Zheng Lieh
  • Wang Jia Le
What's in 15 names? Why, but a single man, of course!

8.04.2011

Morgantown Secedes: Brooklyn in Crisis

Breaking news from the Volidity Report's own in-house wire service, Volidity Report Press (VRP, pronounced "verp"): over the past weekend, an area of Brooklyn seceded and formed its own independent neighborhood as "Morgantown." Long a disputed territory, it was once considered to be part of Bushwick but has been claimed more recently--by the bureaucrats and moneyed interests in a move much resented by locals--to be "East Williamsburg." Confused and oppressed, the neighborhood's identity is muddled further by outsiders and in-migrants using monickers like "Bushburg" or even "Robertasville" (named for the estate of a local pizza magnate). Beyond said pizzeria (which has indeed found acceptance), the locals feel besieged by the encroachment of carpetbaggers, with their strange and out-of-place businesses. Finally, with all around them in crisis, the locals have elected a new "Governor", who has declared Morgantown an independent neighborhood, separate from both Williamsburg and Bushwick. Below is an excerpt of his fiery oratory:


Thus, it seems, in Brooklyn as in Florida, North is South (and vice-versa). Numerous interviews suggest that if even if this rebellion is unsuccessful, The Town of Morgan shall rise again! At the very least, fueled by local, organic foods and Four Loko, the Morgantowners remain a force to be reckoned with. Look to the Volidity Report Press for future developments...