12.27.2012

Top Ten "Top 10" of 2012


2012 was a big year for planet Earth, with 366 days of activities across the internets and meatspace alike. As druids celebrate the solstice outdoors in sacred spaces, and Americans celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by tweeting "#fuckyoumom for not getting the myPhone 4S", the bloggers of the world begin gathering the raw materials for end-of-the-year listicles. As demonstrated last year, the Volidity Report is no stranger to this phenomenon. But, standing above ordinary blogs and news websites, we would like to present (for the reader's convenience) the Volidity Report's Top Ten "Top 10" list for the year of our lord of tech toys 2012:

Shanghai-based Steven Millward's list provides some indication of the extent to which the Chinese authorities censor online.

Though the Volidity Report is appalled to see that Staten Island and Long Island (the *longest* in these United States) were snubbed, we plan on campaigning hard for Florida, the Crimea, and Korea next year as the Top 10 Peninsulas of 2013.

For all the haters out there. [and for those interested in the continuation of list #9 above -Ed.]

As *shocking* as these stories may be, given that none of them featured a catch phrase as memorable as "Don't tase me, bro", can this really count as news?

6) List of Romanian Top 100 top 10 singles in 2012
Flo Rida apparently had a pretty decent year in Romania. Who knew?

A pretty necessary list for this past year, along with... [And if "The University of California vs. Goldman Sachs" is not the narrative of our time, I don't know what is -Ed.]

4) The Ten Biggest Sex and Gender Stories of 2012 in China
The Middle Kingdom seems to be just experiencing First Wave feminism at the same time that octogenarians are boldly embracing their nature as transgendered. We're looking forward to the Ten Biggest Women and Gender Studies Dissertations on China in 2013!

3) Top 10 Endangered Places 2012
The American South is full of natural beauty that is facing apocalyptic destruction at the hands of lawmakers who are more concerned with the biblical apocalypse and a populace likely more aware of the Mayan apocalypse. Something, something, Chick-fil-a...

2) The top 10 new species for 2012 include sneezing monkey and blue tarantula
Just like your favorite characters on the YouTubes, Earth's best new species of 2012 all have whimsical traits distinguishing them from less endearing members of their phyla!

1) The Top 10 Chinese Internet Memes of 2012
WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT "AIRCRAFT CARRIER STYLE"???


№ 2, 3, 4, 7, & 9 suggested by Herrence Meritocracy and № 1, 5, 6, 8 & 10 suggested by LK Shov. All methodologies scientific.

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