tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81450714531654505012024-02-19T21:32:14.545-05:00The Volidity Report<b>volidity</b>: IPA: /vəʊlɪdɪtɪ/ <br>
Noun<br>
A style of rhetoric characterized by its focus on both minutiae and grand theory (and reversals thereof), tendency to embark on tangents, and provision of solutions where problems are not widely perceived. Often it attempts to make the fictional real and meaningless profound.<br>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-89493493618742672602016-09-26T09:32:00.001-04:002016-09-26T09:58:05.864-04:00Election 2016: America's Toddlers Decide<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyrUuED0wZCUWHGn6E4jm5Gr0q3plHY77Uw-oTJFMRUlcm3yS6Z0j3MLK99XpyQhvI03mckKO0J6sNXrGkv9KCsCvrG3uLXZRQ6zO1M-Ng8yPZv5ZeKW_AQPedQjxfnwdQi8JEb-rcvs/s1600/HFA-Apparel-02-Future_Voter_Onesie-A_large.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyrUuED0wZCUWHGn6E4jm5Gr0q3plHY77Uw-oTJFMRUlcm3yS6Z0j3MLK99XpyQhvI03mckKO0J6sNXrGkv9KCsCvrG3uLXZRQ6zO1M-Ng8yPZv5ZeKW_AQPedQjxfnwdQi8JEb-rcvs/s320/HFA-Apparel-02-Future_Voter_Onesie-A_large.jpg" width="169" /> </a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHA6uLQNm4emmnPzXBVHoI8m0ehxSv_KW70NDlGcXPMJdW324kaLhi6TSprH8RB9k_avMOu9f4-OhhVJfSlyg5TLoWFiMNCPYJmYVTaK1NqNTeYDPf8NYBWyv8Kr_56T9DJKnGM4bsNUw/s1600/il_fullxfull.985558462_7vjn.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHA6uLQNm4emmnPzXBVHoI8m0ehxSv_KW70NDlGcXPMJdW324kaLhi6TSprH8RB9k_avMOu9f4-OhhVJfSlyg5TLoWFiMNCPYJmYVTaK1NqNTeYDPf8NYBWyv8Kr_56T9DJKnGM4bsNUw/s320/il_fullxfull.985558462_7vjn.jpg" width="187" /></a> </div>
As of this year, <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/05/16/millennials-match-baby-boomers-as-largest-generation-in-u-s-electorate-but-will-they-vote/">Millennials form an equal portion of the American electorate as Boomers</a>. Despite this important development, the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election will *not* be determined by Millennials. No, not because <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2016/03/22/why-dont-millennials-vote/">their levels of turnout remain far lower than any other generation</a>--rather because this election will actually be determined by the generation <i>below</i> Millennials. I refer of course to Generation Z, the cohort of Americans born after the year 2000.<br />
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How is this possible, you might ask, given that no one in that generation is eligible yet to vote in the United States? Why, the unlimited power of technology, of course! On Twitter--<a href="https://images.modelviewculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/18184201/twitter_verification.png">a platform where the finest men, women, and brands all commingle</a>--the takes of America's children can now reach vast audiences thanks to their thinkfluencer parents' accounts on <a href="http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/im-not-fired-i-quit-a-users-review-of-twitter-as-a-li-1785941662">Media Twitter</a>.<br />
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As we already know, <a href="http://fusion.net/story/339709/millennials-killing-are-killing-killed-on-trial/">Millennials are killing all that is good in this country</a>, so it's only right that these wunderkinder from the generation below would usurp them. Whereas Millennials foolishly pursue a Gender Studies degree in college and <a href="http://europe.newsweek.com/millennial-college-graduates-young-educated-jobless-327813">emerge indebted and jobless</a>, their younger peers in Gen Z study history and political science under the tutelage of their wise parents--no loans required!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS_MPkqlNLKzfC3FUOv6IMHHlN_ICtVQRuAsmZFmqBYag_iIdMmakfOBfmykORqsHHFJeajUrqg-MQFySKbK1fRjItOE6gJRHr49neP8TaH8AkXIxajnReL1DbFbfE9wi78l0uJB5A79k/s1600/Wolfers.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS_MPkqlNLKzfC3FUOv6IMHHlN_ICtVQRuAsmZFmqBYag_iIdMmakfOBfmykORqsHHFJeajUrqg-MQFySKbK1fRjItOE6gJRHr49neP8TaH8AkXIxajnReL1DbFbfE9wi78l0uJB5A79k/s400/Wolfers.png" width="400" /></a></div>
With the presidential primaries over, America could at last join the elite group of countries that includes <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabel_Mart%C3%ADnez_de_Per%C3%B3n">Argentina</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Park_Geun-hye">South Korea</a>, places where a female spouse or relative of a former president could someday become president herself! All of this in spite of the <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/10/race-no-millennials-care-most-about-gender-equality/430305/">deep, virulent sexism displayed by Millennials</a> in <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/06/20/more-young-people-voted-for-bernie-sanders-than-trump-and-clinton-combined-by-a-lot/">choosing to favor a white male candidate instead</a>. But even the most determined efforts of these "Bernie<span style="color: #0000ee;"> </span>Bros"--male and <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/129483/millennial-women-gravitating-bernie-sanders">female</a> alike--couldn't prevent the <a href="https://twitter.com/arthur_affect/status/669187312027217921">awesome and historic</a> nomination of Hillary Clinton! Now we live in a world where <a href="https://twitter.com/peterdaou/status/777134515676450816">#gender</a> bias will not stop a <a href="https://twitter.com/peterdaou/status/690614541542125568">#daughter</a> from dreaming about defying the online trolls and occupying the highest public office, assuming that she has <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/04/us/politics/hillary-clinton-fundraising.html">access to vast financial resources</a> and the <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/02/of-course-hillary-clinton-is-part-of-the-establishment/460125/">support of large segments of the political, intellectual, and business elite</a>. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHL34DgzJfdbc5XzDzIYobUbm5trp5UoWWgZQhAENY7tZ8o-Z1lcUTyhZfGqOdc8Y0y65OgRx7vR31TpRMYqWDJcjOjDJKO_Ir5VhHIz_ziaAVDKYPntp_N-Hne3h-GZiOUvJupiaJuK4/s1600/Kendzior.jpg"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHL34DgzJfdbc5XzDzIYobUbm5trp5UoWWgZQhAENY7tZ8o-Z1lcUTyhZfGqOdc8Y0y65OgRx7vR31TpRMYqWDJcjOjDJKO_Ir5VhHIz_ziaAVDKYPntp_N-Hne3h-GZiOUvJupiaJuK4/s400/Kendzior.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
The young folks of Generation Z *literally* spit at the sexism of their elders--how inspiring! They know that the most important manifestations of sexism in our society today don't lie in <a href="https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/video/maternity-leave-how-america-is-failing-its-mothers">the lack of paid maternity leave</a>, <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/11/how-economic-issues-turned-into-feminist-issues/415587/">the stagnant wages among a service sector workforce dominated by women</a>, <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2013/04/15/five-shocking-facts-about-child-care-in-the-united-states/">the low quality and high cost of childcare services</a>, or <a href="http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/03/hillary-clinton-late-term-abortions">the difficulty in accessing the safe and legal termination of a pregnancy</a>, but rather <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-bernie-sanders-interrupts-hillary-clinton-sexism-20160307-story.html">body language</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-VOIHqA_pJIBd9Et15naTNCQ_UfxXbbfiurWyKi7IeSm-TtfzdPuemMz-a5r6Mz8yPcZxU2S7fPjpAudVk3OMcbGBjoa0HaBOegzJSX7Enp0wzMYySPbYP7S4s_ReSl9QUMWq6BqVha8/s1600/Roberts.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-VOIHqA_pJIBd9Et15naTNCQ_UfxXbbfiurWyKi7IeSm-TtfzdPuemMz-a5r6Mz8yPcZxU2S7fPjpAudVk3OMcbGBjoa0HaBOegzJSX7Enp0wzMYySPbYP7S4s_ReSl9QUMWq6BqVha8/s400/Roberts.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Despite having been born largely after 2004, Generation Z has readily absorbed the lessons of the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election. While Millennials have shamefully <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/136976/liberals-failed-teach-millennials-horror-george-w-bush">forgotten the horrors of the Bush administration</a>, Gen Z kids know better! They're certain that Donald Trump <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/rubycramer/how-a-decision-in-may-changed-the-general-election">is an aberration from the honorable norms of the Grand Old Party</a> and will be quick to remind the public of <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/people-are-loving-these-cute-photos-of-michelle-obama-huggin">the heartwarming love the Bush family has to offer America</a>. They know that the best way to signal that They're With Her is by celebrating the endorsements of Reagan administration officials like <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/08/10/former-top-bush-official-negroponte-endorses-clinton.html">John Negroponte</a>--with <a href="http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a47517/hillary-clinton-john-negroponte-endorsement/">years of foreign policy experience</a>!--and the votes of Bush administration advisors like <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-clinton-wolfowitz-idUSKCN1111XS">Paul Wolfowitz</a>--<a href="http://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2016/09/11/meet-iraq-war-architect-paul-wolfowitz-uses-opportunity-nbc-re-litigate-iraq-invasion/212993">a tried and tested expert in the Middle East</a>. These #NeverTrump conservatives need to be courted--in their think tanks and <a href="http://www.dailydot.com/unclick/anti-trump-conservatives-trapped-in-elevators/">stalled elevators</a> alike--because they will support Hillary Clinton <a href="http://www.politico.com/story/2016/09/clintons-gop-supporters-expect-something-in-return-228117">purely out of duty and honor to help our country</a>.<br />
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The young prodigies of Gen Z know that there is nothing to fear, but Trump himself. Why? Because <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/aug/04/democrats-america-already-great-nauseating-patriotism-trump-clinton">America is Already Great™</a>! Among the developed economies of the OECD, the United States is #1 in per capita firearm ownership and fatalities, in the rate of incarceration, in the use of capital punishment, and in the number of those lacking health insurance; the U.S. also remains a close #2 in per capita carbon emissions and obesity and is working hard to increase its performance in areas like <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/22/health/maternal-mortality.html">maternal mortality</a> and <a href="http://billmoyers.com/2015/09/03/new-research-documents-growth-of-extreme-poverty-in-us/">rates of extreme poverty</a>. Certainly, there is no way that Trump's fearful message might <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/14/us/politics/donald-trump-white-identity.html">resonate among voters</a>, given that no presidential election has even been won by stoking <a href="http://www.livingroomcandidate.org/commercials/1988/willie-horton">fears of disorder at home</a> or <a href="http://www.livingroomcandidate.org/commercials/1984/bear#4095">anxieties about threats from abroad</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Pwe9CPWDqzvofDQ0bSDOQEcMaRfslR81faBs-rJSdRctafsfHejUusHmOSvxp1GEs5VtSj4BwN5wQb-vnZUVT8d6IVIgmI4_Zc7L185q3Hsg5CpstzY6SZFpxRMVLX2XuQx9wssF8l8/s1600/Delgado.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Pwe9CPWDqzvofDQ0bSDOQEcMaRfslR81faBs-rJSdRctafsfHejUusHmOSvxp1GEs5VtSj4BwN5wQb-vnZUVT8d6IVIgmI4_Zc7L185q3Hsg5CpstzY6SZFpxRMVLX2XuQx9wssF8l8/s400/Delgado.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Though Gen Z remains committed to fighting Trump and his politics of fear, they are also sympathetic to the concerns of his followers. Trump may <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/being-honest-about-trump">represent an unprecedented authoritarian challenge</a> <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-dangerous-acceptance-of-donald-trump">to our Republic and its Constitution</a>, but that doesn't mean that those opposing his fascism should be <a href="https://www.currentaffairs.org/2016/05/the-necessity-of-political-vulgarity">rude</a> or <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/erik-wemple/wp/2016/06/03/what-will-a-suspension-do-for-a-vox-editor-who-urged-anti-trump-riots/">go so far as to advocate direct action</a>. Heavens no! Rather than play the partisan blame game, the young'uns of Gen Z can see clearly that bad people come from Both Sides, and that what this election really needs is <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/11/both-parties-stink-let-s-build-a-new-american-politics-2-0.html">some Silicon Valley-style disruption</a>, to shake up the Republican and Democratic Parties alike.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKk2FQeHnoakDUdNOC6TpNPw1Iw19sG12OJzP27SATLEcqTRXIhsJU2nV4l_Tt4SDUyQwr-glcFIErdpn09uNcLrPkkqCgxX3PS4wTNK6A_62WwYn2r2MXYU-yG7_qc4eOjcu2rcpo9X4/s1600/Jeffery.png"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKk2FQeHnoakDUdNOC6TpNPw1Iw19sG12OJzP27SATLEcqTRXIhsJU2nV4l_Tt4SDUyQwr-glcFIErdpn09uNcLrPkkqCgxX3PS4wTNK6A_62WwYn2r2MXYU-yG7_qc4eOjcu2rcpo9X4/s400/Jeffery.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Masters of nuance from a young age, Gen Z kids know that while disrupting the two-party system is a good thing, <i>actually voting</i> for a third party is dangerous. <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/opinions/wp/2016/07/27/a-vote-for-jill-stein-is-a-vote-for-donald-trump-and-thats-the-point/">A vote for the Green Party is actually a vote for Trump</a>, <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/23/opinions/a-vote-for-jill-stein-is-a-vote-for-trump-kohn/">no matter the circumstances</a>. Whereas Millennials are <a href="http://theweek.com/articles/649678/how-hillary-clinton-woo-millennials">flippantly</a> and <a href="http://www.newsweek.com/hillary-clinton-millennial-voters-502298">baselessly</a> considering voting for third party candidates, Gen Z knows that <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/19/opinion/vote-as-if-it-matters.html">this logic enabled Ralph Nader to deliver us the presidency of George W. Bush in the 2000 election</a>, with <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/12/6/1260721/-The-Nader-Myth">no other factors</a> influencing that election.<br />
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To conclude, let us salute this generation, patriotic and duty-minded from birth--<a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/baby-salutes-marine-dad-adorable-sonogram-photo/story?id=42081432">or even before!</a>--for working to save our Republic in this tumultuous and difficult year. These Griffins and Milos, <a href="http://io9.gizmodo.com/america-why-are-you-all-naming-all-your-boys-like-this-1561328070">Aidens and Bradens, Haydens and Jaydens</a>--have done us all a great service. We should also be deeply appreciative of the ways that their Boomer and Gen X parents raised these bright young people, whose <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/136928/dont-blame-millennials-scarily-close-election-blame-baby-boomers">generations have definitely not created any of the problems addressed here</a>, and who are certainly not cynical operators making up anecdotes about their children for attention and partisan political gain.Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-3091146452646584842015-01-08T10:50:00.000-05:002015-01-08T10:50:53.033-05:00Cooking with Volidity: Pasta Bread Bowl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://business.time.com/2013/03/13/why-were-wasting-billions-on-gluten-free-food/">Americans are spending billions of dollars a year to avoid gluten</a>, a protein found in wheat, rye, and barley. However, <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/05/22/314287321/sensitive-to-gluten-a-carb-in-wheat-may-be-the-real-culprit">recent scientific research is pointing to a new culprit, FODMAPs</a>, as the actual cause of much of our contemporary gastrointestinal distress. Gluten, it seems, is perhaps not the <a href="http://southpark.cc.com/full-episodes/s18e02-gluten-free-ebola">enemy of humanity we once imagined it to be</a> (unless you have Celiac Disease--sorry, guys!). Now that gluten has been exonerated by Science, the Volidity Report has decided to prepare a dish that celebrates this special protein in its many forms. For inspiration, we turn our eyes to a pioneer of glutenous meal combinations: Domino's, creator of the BreadBowl Pasta™.<br />
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For a mere dollar extra[!], Domino's will encase a pasta dish within the bready confines of a "bowl" made from pizza dough. Now, if in theory such an innovation appears brilliant, in practice it has met with some rather harsh critiques, claiming that "<a href="http://slice.seriouseats.com/archives/2013/01/chain-reaction-bread-bowl-pasta-from-dominos.html">the result is pasta that's simultaneously mushy and dry, like baked ziti that has been sitting out a day too long</a>" or that the dish is "<a href="http://www.sogoodblog.com/2014/02/24/dominos-pasta-breadbowl-review/">a salty, sloppy, non-sizzling bowl</a>." With this in mind, following <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/search/label/cooking%20with%20volidity">a time-honored tradition</a>, the Volidity Report has appropriated and then elevated the concept of the BreadBowl Pasta™ into a dish of gluten-filled joy.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Of the five varieties offered by Domino's, the Italian Sausage Marinara BreadBowl Pasta™ was deemed the most promising, as it did not require Alfredo sauce. And as we could not procure our ingredients from the <a href="http://slice.seriouseats.com/archives/2010/08/tour-inside-a-dominos-pizza-dough-factory-how-do-they-make-dominos-pizza-dough-slideshow.html#show-108892">local factory/warehouse/distribution center</a>, we decided to assemble our own, making as many elements from scratch as possible.<br />
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Ingredients<br />
<ul>
<li>Homemade pizza dough (<a href="http://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016230-robertas-pizza-dough">recipe sourced from a certain local pizzeria</a>)</li>
<ul>
<li>All-purpose flour (USA)</li>
<li>00 flour (Italy)</li>
<li>Dry active yeast</li>
<li>Sea salt</li>
</ul>
<li>Homemade tomato sauce (<a href="http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2010/01/tomato-sauce-with-butter-and-onions/">recipe here</a>)</li>
<ul>
<li>Organic canned whole tomatoes (WA)</li>
<li>Butter (USA)</li>
<li>Organic onion (NY)</li>
</ul>
<li>Homemade ricotta cheese</li>
<ul>
<li>Organic whole milk (USA)</li>
<li>Organic heavy cream (USA)</li>
<li>Organic lemon (CA) </li>
</ul>
<li>Fresh mozzarella cheese (NY)</li>
<li>Parmesan cheese (Italy)</li>
<li>Fresh basil (NY)</li>
<li>Red pepper (NY)</li>
<li>Hot Italian sausage (NY)</li>
<li>Organic ziti (Italy) </li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWwwOwn3XYSnEax9zMQ8Fuf7JCHpM6kVk8c_B47bD3Xgxgo3LduRf0YXGNZc9KPVN5sg3ZfUs-RZvLX1P7NbVGPZfjttqfUVI7EkrTqMur_Vpwfet61F0vXhjEw9-euJNyXfrEsnnhG-k/s1600/IMG_0003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWwwOwn3XYSnEax9zMQ8Fuf7JCHpM6kVk8c_B47bD3Xgxgo3LduRf0YXGNZc9KPVN5sg3ZfUs-RZvLX1P7NbVGPZfjttqfUVI7EkrTqMur_Vpwfet61F0vXhjEw9-euJNyXfrEsnnhG-k/s1600/IMG_0003.JPG" height="240" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTzk9_aVC_AP52sN36DWTPoMRVMlFbAij0jOelMkpwktP2Lqzkbh5bg1xRcOUKFyQ2gpW0xsGi0ZoH9Un7EhkDsCFcVqavw2mnxfcVHXCyvkzqwZp3DbQIaFhdn_XEoTc2kGQSVkP-j2s/s1600/IMG_0004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTzk9_aVC_AP52sN36DWTPoMRVMlFbAij0jOelMkpwktP2Lqzkbh5bg1xRcOUKFyQ2gpW0xsGi0ZoH9Un7EhkDsCFcVqavw2mnxfcVHXCyvkzqwZp3DbQIaFhdn_XEoTc2kGQSVkP-j2s/s1600/IMG_0004.JPG" height="180" width="240" /></a></div>
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Pizza dough made the day before is taken from the fridge, while ricotta is strained from milk, cream, and lemon juice. A single red pepper is roasted in the oven, then once cooled, its skin peeled.</div>
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The peppers are then chopped along with fresh mozzarella, basil, and a single hot Italian sausage that has been cooked on the stovetop. These ingredients will be added to the pasta once it has been boiled and strained.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIXzTmRwoaLGwDqV1nV3bQyM1IIkszZeGAk8ZTOTF9aQYsOrEPgTPeEFPJpYSmyXgbFNClDTY3Vfwegw4YrC0x2dbWx0eFFU3TimOpViXyVI1ngtOujwOV0pD6a33tXcbv-ml5z-zxGkU/s1600/IMG_0012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIXzTmRwoaLGwDqV1nV3bQyM1IIkszZeGAk8ZTOTF9aQYsOrEPgTPeEFPJpYSmyXgbFNClDTY3Vfwegw4YrC0x2dbWx0eFFU3TimOpViXyVI1ngtOujwOV0pD6a33tXcbv-ml5z-zxGkU/s1600/IMG_0012.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilDlVBxdomC4aOWmkCCrTASxqFNO77DXQ6UvFbZjP8QGNT0l6totNmJbdsxecw82dcPZB7XjWCMm1XnMPGYfw2ApOpWxqTYiUAT1AyGDeOLu0vFrH9lOMV80V_sZE-KPbAhAWMj0acU1U/s1600/IMG_0014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilDlVBxdomC4aOWmkCCrTASxqFNO77DXQ6UvFbZjP8QGNT0l6totNmJbdsxecw82dcPZB7XjWCMm1XnMPGYfw2ApOpWxqTYiUAT1AyGDeOLu0vFrH9lOMV80V_sZE-KPbAhAWMj0acU1U/s1600/IMG_0014.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
The pizza dough is <a href="http://youtu.be/dkqehNgoEXY?t=21s">spun in the traditional manner</a>, then fitted in metal mixing bowls, so that they may retain their essential bowl-ness during the baking process. Then the dough alone is baked for a few minutes in the oven.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3J45vvXZWYulkXG7dj1irrQvzCxj9byYj2WC_MCSZsNqax1nUTcRrmF7ndPqN8sARZOPhrTuxpJFm0M4x5n6J9_m8owslWV7hHh8eXPMBp-V3KhNCoMuIQS3XHOzJ6Yh8dIH_83in3b4/s1600/IMG_0015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3J45vvXZWYulkXG7dj1irrQvzCxj9byYj2WC_MCSZsNqax1nUTcRrmF7ndPqN8sARZOPhrTuxpJFm0M4x5n6J9_m8owslWV7hHh8eXPMBp-V3KhNCoMuIQS3XHOzJ6Yh8dIH_83in3b4/s1600/IMG_0015.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpxfLtnK61Zofr-hIyzmTicSgBa_jO-eQBfVm7JpFzthJrMTcnRq1H8vHhxLidTFe8vyIyMqjN3ncPLKBrmY5CM6SEwpUsqGs31tly1uFgT-pN3RzkkfBrny4fHu4N1r5TDYecvWjAiEI/s1600/IMG_0016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpxfLtnK61Zofr-hIyzmTicSgBa_jO-eQBfVm7JpFzthJrMTcnRq1H8vHhxLidTFe8vyIyMqjN3ncPLKBrmY5CM6SEwpUsqGs31tly1uFgT-pN3RzkkfBrny4fHu4N1r5TDYecvWjAiEI/s1600/IMG_0016.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
The pasta is then added to the emerging bread bowls (with a sprinkling of parmesan on top), which are then returned to the oven for another round of baking.<br />
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And here you have it, the most glutenous gourmet dish around, perhaps only surpassed by some deep dish Chicagoan creation East Coasters can only dream of. Bowl appétit!Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-41301941361245587182014-12-31T16:04:00.002-05:002014-12-31T16:04:35.566-05:00The Top Ten "Top 10" of 2014<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1-Uu1RyYkijaus2pxcIAs88f_rRAmkJ83VAo3qmLMMN156uB1HWC4u3eZij4sASgyndHEWDwBDeFuMKMje6v0mau_r_lUvR2g3dFGH7R8YlaBOk5GptLaw23y32g4_ufE4tvM6plhCTc/s1600/2014+has+been+evaluated.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1-Uu1RyYkijaus2pxcIAs88f_rRAmkJ83VAo3qmLMMN156uB1HWC4u3eZij4sASgyndHEWDwBDeFuMKMje6v0mau_r_lUvR2g3dFGH7R8YlaBOk5GptLaw23y32g4_ufE4tvM6plhCTc/s1600/2014+has+been+evaluated.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
Was 2014 the <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/2014-has-already-been-the-worst-year-ever-for#.pbaygqkQy">worst year ever</a>? Probably not, if you're someone who is aware of the years that have preceded it, <a href="http://www.theawl.com/2014/12/1914-the-year-in-review">such as 1914</a> (that is, unless you live in <a href="http://www.euronews.com/2014/12/30/ukraine-turns-its-back-on-its-worst-year-since-world-war-ii/">Ukraine</a>). Good or bad, it must be noted that 2014 was a boom year for <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2014/01/venetian-doge.html">memes</a>, <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2014/04/killing-history.html">series of useless books</a>, and listicles, which are "<span itemprop="articleBody"><a href="http://www.wired.com/2014/01/defense-listicle-list-article/">rapidly becoming the lingua franca of new-media journalism</a>." Taking that into consideration, as the Volidity Report is a serious journalistic enterprise, we embark once again on <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/search/label/year%20in%20review">an annual tradition</a>: the ranking of the top ten Top 10 lists from 2014, provided to you in helpful listicle format.</span><br />
<span itemprop="articleBody"><br /></span>
10) <a href="http://www.spectator.co.uk/columnists/rod-liddle/9354972/my-top-ten-most-fatuous-phrases/">Spectator UK: My Top Ten Most Fatuous Phrases</a><br />
Ron Liddle is right. If all goes well, in 2015, we'll all be using more words like "fatuous".<br />
<br />
9) <a href="http://www.golfchannel.com/media/top-10-2014-controversies/">Golf Channel - Top 10 in 2014: Controversies</a><br />
Were you as upset as we were when Patrick Reed called himself a top-5 player? Why, with declarations like that, he'll never make the top ten of golf statisticians, let alone critics!<br />
<br />
8) <a href="http://www.darpa.mil/NewsEvents/Releases/2014/12/29.aspx">The Top 10 Most Popular DARPA Stories of 2014</a><br />
The U.S. government's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency proves it's still on the cutting edge with a self-referential Top 10 list compiled by the best and brightest of social media interns. We're excited to see how the DARPA #brand will grow in 2015!<br />
<br />
7) <a href="http://www.lifescript.com/well-being/articles/t/top_10_items_youre_too_old_to_wear.aspx">Top 10 Items You're Too Old To Wear</a><br />
Ladies! Fellas! Time to face the music. You’re just TOO OLD to wear those message T’s! "'The message tee boom was fueled by Young Hollywood [as] a way for people to express frustration.' And that doesn’t exactly come off as mature."
<br />
<br />
6) <a href="http://www.designboom.com/architecture/top-10-shipping-container-structures-of-2014-12-29-2014/">TOP 10 shipping container structures of 2014</a><br />
Do you still think that shipping containers are *just* for shipping things? Then you're in for a rude surprise in 2015 when all your peers will have absorbed the lessons of this important Top 10 list.<br />
<br />
5) <a href="http://www.lewrockwell.com/2014/04/christopher-cantwell/top-10-reasons-libertarians-arent-nice-to-you/">Top 10 Reasons Libertarians Aren't Nice to You</a><br />
Had a real Randroid meanie in your life this past year? Chris Cantwell totally gets it - and he's happy to explain why you deserved it!<br />
<br />
4) <a href="http://msmagazine.com/blog/2014/12/23/feminism-the-top-10-feminist-hashtags-of-2014/">The Top 10 Feminist Hashtags of 2014</a><br />
As we all know, there's nothing the patriarchy fears more than ideas transmitted on a web platform preceded by a pound sign.<br />
<br />
3) <a href="http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2014/08/minnesota_state_fair_top_10_places_to_poop.php">Minnesota State Fair Top 10 Places to Poop</a><br />
If you were like me, you wanted to love the MN State Fair...but there was just no place to drop a load! And in Obama's America, you can’t just poop in the middle of crowded fairs anymore. But worry not Frustrated Fairgoers! Know that Cityblogs has you covered for next year with all the hot spots to squat.<br />
<br />
2) <a href="http://time.com/collection/top-10-everything-of-2014/">Time Magazine: Top 10 Everything of 2014</a><br />
Somehow anticipating the Volidity Report's meta-approach in trying to cover "everything," <i>Time</i> still managed to leave the assessment of Top 10 lists to us.<br />
<br />
1) <a href="http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-only-i-will-understand-1123">10 Things Only I Will Understand</a><br />
That feeling when Mallory calls you Steamboat...<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">№ 2, 4, 6, 8 & 9 suggested by</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586" style="color: #3d74a5; text-decoration: none;">Herrence Meritocracy</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">and № 1, 3, 5, 7 & 10 suggested by</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/17518611438468637214" style="color: #3d74a5; text-decoration: none;">LK Shov</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">. All methodologies scientific.</span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-2369096115916117572014-04-21T08:00:00.000-04:002014-04-21T12:03:00.025-04:00Killing History<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzF4vxr0lo9NCUuzbfL3N4LeQj6kR-ebffCRYuMg5qqbCet8uTpOD4QhTX5J2kNEoXR17KgM2VMiMeiv-y9DKw2CURx5pByGY1zHTlEi1yvKHSnsg2INnVVt-4Q2utZClHEHVMNwEPoDs/s1600/Killing+History+-+Bill+O%27Reilly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzF4vxr0lo9NCUuzbfL3N4LeQj6kR-ebffCRYuMg5qqbCet8uTpOD4QhTX5J2kNEoXR17KgM2VMiMeiv-y9DKw2CURx5pByGY1zHTlEi1yvKHSnsg2INnVVt-4Q2utZClHEHVMNwEPoDs/s1600/Killing+History+-+Bill+O'Reilly.jpg" height="201" width="400" /></a></div>
Producing a book of historical scholarship can be difficult, especially when one is writing for a popular audience. Take a gander at the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/best-sellers-books/overview.html"><i>New York Times</i> Best Sellers</a> if you want to grasp the nature of the problem. Just last week, your Editor spotted in the Top 5 Hardcover Nonfiction and Print/E-book Nonfiction a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nazi_Officer%27s_Wife">book with the word "Nazi" in the title</a>, a <a href="http://jezebel.com/chelsea-handler-uses-12-years-a-slave-to-plug-uganda-be-1535326406">book by a late night teevee comedian</a>, <a href="http://gawker.com/what-is-and-is-not-cool-according-to-greg-gutfeld-1550500083">a book by a conservative "comedian,"</a> and a <a href="http://gawker.com/5794366/is-childs-hallucinatory-trip-to-heaven-real-usa-today-investigates">book about a four year old's journey to heaven where he got to hang out with God and Jesus and the gang</a>. America knows what it wants!<br />
<br />
So perhaps we cannot totally blame teevee guy Bill O'Reilly for titling his history of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln <i>"Killing Lincoln</i>." It's simple, catchy, and more of a factual statement than <i>Heaven is for Real</i>. But if the American public has been an enthusiastic consumer of this book (and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFzRYFNoOwA">its made-for-TV special</a>!), the <a href="http://www.salon.com/2011/11/12/fords_theatre_flunks_oreillys_lincoln_book/">U.S. Park Service has refused to sell <i>Killing Lincoln</i> where Lincoln was killed</a> due to its <a href="http://www.salon.com/2011/11/12/second_expert_trashes_oreillys_lincoln_book/">numerous factual errors</a>.<br />
<br />
This didn't stop ol' Bill though. Using this template, he went on to co-author two more books on other subjects that have already been written about endlessly, <i>Killing Kennedy</i> and <i>Killing Jesus</i>. Given that O'Reilly's B.A. in History from Marist College (<a href="http://www.forbes.com/colleges/marist-college/">currently ranked 375th best in the U.S. by <i>Forbes</i>!</a>) might not seem the strongest basis for being an author of various history books, Your Editor foolishly assumed that the co-author (always appearing as <span style="font-size: xx-small;">MARTIN DUGARD</span> below BILL O'REILLY) must then be a trained historian with a Ph.D. in History. Au contraire! Mr. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Dugard</span> does not claim any degree and splits his time between writing and <a href="http://www.jserra.org/apps/pages/index.jsp?uREC_ID=72817&type=d&pREC_ID=172373">coaching high school track</a>, making him that rare person honored as a <i>New York Times</i> bestselling author *and* "Girls Varsity Cross-Country Coach of the Year" in Orange County, CA.<br />
<br />
Considering how successful the duo of O'Reilly and <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Dugard</span> has been, why leave history writing to the historians? In fact, why even leave history writing to <i>history</i>? The Volidity Report has thus decided to write a history of the future, predicting what books might be next for Bill O'Reilly and other potential <span style="font-size: x-small;">co-authors<span style="font-size: small;"> (assuming that <span style="font-size: xx-small;">Martin Dugard</span> will be busy with track-and-field season)</span></span>. Let's review!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEOEp5wVpxMXu9AQYCYKYHVeWekOFpSSWYvDEgFqPMNggy9gBkI99IoDUWHoiXu7p8rdPxZZl3AgobdEuxaMzmFFInqnlNDkO85rsmlcnzjt1Fm5TCGdGm2QLEwmZlzPUkn0XQugH4UXw/s1600/Killing+Caesar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEOEp5wVpxMXu9AQYCYKYHVeWekOFpSSWYvDEgFqPMNggy9gBkI99IoDUWHoiXu7p8rdPxZZl3AgobdEuxaMzmFFInqnlNDkO85rsmlcnzjt1Fm5TCGdGm2QLEwmZlzPUkn0XQugH4UXw/s1600/Killing+Caesar.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></div>
Hey, here's another famous guy in history who was assassinated and has had countless books written about him! And these books stretch back to the time of Bill's posthumous co-author, making them perennial bestsellers. As for drama, this gripping story is sure to get the public's attention. Apparently, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Caesar_%28play%29">some guy also wrote a play</a> about this subject which has remained pretty popular. Speaking of...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWsskv40x13AQyuGSU_0aXSVY-IY0gN4xngFN7PtOt6TZCcD4mCNyx3aJDfzfLERcUnfezaHjXPJ5RjUZ49nSNl_Im8lj9MW3L1EGjf-J3nCdm1k2UyHKqy2YJeOoJVTeq1a6mZf7-0eY/s1600/Killing+Hamlet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWsskv40x13AQyuGSU_0aXSVY-IY0gN4xngFN7PtOt6TZCcD4mCNyx3aJDfzfLERcUnfezaHjXPJ5RjUZ49nSNl_Im8lj9MW3L1EGjf-J3nCdm1k2UyHKqy2YJeOoJVTeq1a6mZf7-0eY/s1600/Killing+Hamlet.jpg" height="320" width="242" /></a></div>
Since <i>Romeo Must Die</i> is already a <a href="http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2000-03-23/features/0003230296_1_romeo-jet-li-han-sing">modern classic</a>, presumably <i>Hamlet</i> will have to suffice as the basis for Bill's next project. The title even works on several levels, as the death of *King* Hamlet is what drives the actions of *Prince* Hamlet, leading many to want to kill the Prince as well.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvKU4ASnpS_PC8ZnyePu69PsWaOlB7Zl_eFauG3cgkQUkjDYTJx7zwSQlclM_bWAomHcdbfSWhfQsHKjZ45kXJtNyj5CEnpx8esllZaUL0x9mad2kp6qGfRxVuxDWyq75KywCLFtIdd_M/s1600/Killing+Kurtz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvKU4ASnpS_PC8ZnyePu69PsWaOlB7Zl_eFauG3cgkQUkjDYTJx7zwSQlclM_bWAomHcdbfSWhfQsHKjZ45kXJtNyj5CEnpx8esllZaUL0x9mad2kp6qGfRxVuxDWyq75KywCLFtIdd_M/s1600/Killing+Kurtz.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></div>
The cynical among you might say, "But this is literature, not history!" However, as we have already witnessed, "nonfiction" is a broad category indeed. And for those who don't know, <i>Heart of Darkness</i> is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Voulet#Voulet.27s_rebellion">Based on True Events™</a> and Kurtz <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Rom">bears quite a resemblance to a real-life historical figure</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfVNQGUGI0HixbD6SotB3psZ7362mB7u-H6CHkR_dRrVIY1cBcHU13p-rvkJIRixLuRf9iqI3i3UuwwRtLam7ZmdCDi6IiLz4ufbb1AFuB0RhzfRTiF7Irg4HfJVmRxAw0LGygpnyCoas/s1600/Killing+Palpatine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfVNQGUGI0HixbD6SotB3psZ7362mB7u-H6CHkR_dRrVIY1cBcHU13p-rvkJIRixLuRf9iqI3i3UuwwRtLam7ZmdCDi6IiLz4ufbb1AFuB0RhzfRTiF7Irg4HfJVmRxAw0LGygpnyCoas/s1600/Killing+Palpatine.jpg" height="320" width="218" /></a></div>
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away an emperor was assassinated, making for the basis of another future Bill O'Reilly historical investigation. Thanks to the existence of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BOQI-LAEzM">video recordings</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-Star-Wars-Encyclopedia/dp/0345477634">reference works</a> as source materials, present-day researchers can begin to piece together these important galacto-political events.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihn1lCtOtHR4Ss4Rzgd1k8aY6v6hyM2tC9jvK5HKnk1eKyuziMFxJEPP6IzBUGNRFYMh1Zoswn94ltVUEuK-BS5Fm84KN5mtHntLk4q8fOngbb79xL8b9rEYQP7rVVUb9fN7w3cSVM-4g/s1600/Killing+Optimus+Prime.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihn1lCtOtHR4Ss4Rzgd1k8aY6v6hyM2tC9jvK5HKnk1eKyuziMFxJEPP6IzBUGNRFYMh1Zoswn94ltVUEuK-BS5Fm84KN5mtHntLk4q8fOngbb79xL8b9rEYQP7rVVUb9fN7w3cSVM-4g/s1600/Killing+Optimus+Prime.jpg" height="320" width="222" /></a></div>
Finally, the natural next step for Bill in this series is to document some very recent history. Your Editor speaks, of course, about <a href="http://youtu.be/4lo7JPLJUUU?t=3m56s">events that occurred in the year 2005</a>, when the devious Decepticons ambushed Autobot City on Earth and fatally wounded Optimus Prime.<br />
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We here at the Volidity Report Book Club will work hard to negotiate with Bill O'Reilly's esteemed publisher, Henry Holt and Co, in order to bring you these important works at affordable prices. We're thinking of titling the series "Killing History." Stay tuned!Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-8027359131979471532014-01-03T16:35:00.002-05:002014-01-04T13:31:38.382-05:00Venetian Doge<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyoaba4iSndPHxMP9uqwqWaee9aWzgP2Nc8HOWw3FxSFniGiB2c116d7yZsBwojtduCQI7Wqw8g1ld6ITz5LdQMno1tewLFQWj3L_HTiygEgjYoGvG8xoBj0fftJcs_9kv5lvDD_NEhno/s1600/DOGE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyoaba4iSndPHxMP9uqwqWaee9aWzgP2Nc8HOWw3FxSFniGiB2c116d7yZsBwojtduCQI7Wqw8g1ld6ITz5LdQMno1tewLFQWj3L_HTiygEgjYoGvG8xoBj0fftJcs_9kv5lvDD_NEhno/s320/DOGE.jpg" width="233" /></a> </div>
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Internet,_nobody_knows_you%27re_a_dog">On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog</a>. This is despite the fact that dogs have gained rather great prominence on the internet, enough to even challenge the hegemony of the feline. One popular internet figure of late is a Shiba Inu dog named <a href="http://www.theverge.com/2013/12/31/5248762/doge-meme-rescue-dog-wow">Kabosu</a>, whose thoughts and experiences have been catalogued under the pseudonym "<a href="http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/doge">doge</a>."<br />
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Americans may know their memes, but they sure <a href="http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2011/06/19/dont_know_much_about_history/">don't know much about history</a>. Now, as <a href="http://pando.com/2013/11/29/ihave-a-dream-the-unanswered-questions-behind-las-edtech-fiasco/">textbooks have been made obsolete by iPads</a>, we must recognize the need for new teaching methods. By choosing the name "doge," the denizens of the internet have offered us an opportunity to teach the Youth about <i>another</i> set of doges. Hailing from Venice, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republic_of_Venice#Name">the *Most Serene* of Republics</a> (and thus the chillest), these doges were in fact humans elected to run the city-state and its maritime trading empire from the middle ages until 1797.<br />
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Thus, the Volidity Report presents the Venetian doges in a vernacular understandable to the internet:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji1dptZmVgqH49D7AkhgNY_P8wHGYGyPBm9duZBYUedEKYV7RlatmuOdi-zvu_MXhj6MeowffPRPM_NDQPBz4Hr01BMI6QCjZ0WadjoNLZAor4EVSIUpOmP3kVCS0udHZIvrRDHfS3n1k/s1600/Doge+Leonardo+Loredano.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji1dptZmVgqH49D7AkhgNY_P8wHGYGyPBm9duZBYUedEKYV7RlatmuOdi-zvu_MXhj6MeowffPRPM_NDQPBz4Hr01BMI6QCjZ0WadjoNLZAor4EVSIUpOmP3kVCS0udHZIvrRDHfS3n1k/s320/Doge+Leonardo+Loredano.jpg" width="233" /></a></div>
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<b>Doge Leonardo Loredan (<a href="http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/r.#Abbreviation">r.</a> 1501 - 1523)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje3rvvGvTfmug03es7n4LEvxSrnhR4D4SHeeFWS_IAYsSdTrnT8IW7RfoghDlWJimQ_vSGNNEGWJnn0Vx_X9h49PZpJNMcm7dgyg4wj16yLAaTNe4uKLvpjtC7X1x4uZucOb5mfndHDug/s1600/Doge+Michele+Steno.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje3rvvGvTfmug03es7n4LEvxSrnhR4D4SHeeFWS_IAYsSdTrnT8IW7RfoghDlWJimQ_vSGNNEGWJnn0Vx_X9h49PZpJNMcm7dgyg4wj16yLAaTNe4uKLvpjtC7X1x4uZucOb5mfndHDug/s320/Doge+Michele+Steno.jpg" width="271" /></a></div>
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<b>Doge Michele Steno (r. 1400 - 1413)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk6HTKaOktzxSnAfopWK7VDnZEqZ8XywuSTjcwj9Nvc6TTyWGtvObVmYnA7oYT5OVSyBMwgNKSxFdFivtQTrZ-iyULOqfex05_bDmfCtXzycmm1j5AjU_FYBHR2a4X-MCdvGnqJJzhY2A/s1600/Doge+Andrea+Gritti.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk6HTKaOktzxSnAfopWK7VDnZEqZ8XywuSTjcwj9Nvc6TTyWGtvObVmYnA7oYT5OVSyBMwgNKSxFdFivtQTrZ-iyULOqfex05_bDmfCtXzycmm1j5AjU_FYBHR2a4X-MCdvGnqJJzhY2A/s320/Doge+Andrea+Gritti.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
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<b>Doge Andrea Gritti (r. 1523 - 1538)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir-zehdSKtMDzxmWKbLwLe7Ycwy6nN88oXfgeFmKSM6K6kWWXIxVovqJKAXLbDn1ZX4T5tpPUgfaS3i_S-3N1e9TS5PtJvb9ZgXUe7tGRVXMHIMCMwsBm_NlqikAzzwvCwDI48Ge-F8Uw/s1600/Doge+Carlo+Ruzzini.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir-zehdSKtMDzxmWKbLwLe7Ycwy6nN88oXfgeFmKSM6K6kWWXIxVovqJKAXLbDn1ZX4T5tpPUgfaS3i_S-3N1e9TS5PtJvb9ZgXUe7tGRVXMHIMCMwsBm_NlqikAzzwvCwDI48Ge-F8Uw/s320/Doge+Carlo+Ruzzini.jpg" width="215" /></a></div>
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<b>Doge Carlo Ruzzini (r. 1732 - 1735)</b></div>
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Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning from memes on the internets? But remember everyone, if nobody knows who you are on the internet, no one has to know your meme is educational either! <br />
<span id="goog_1519677333"></span><span id="goog_1519677334"></span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-77175653530170543172013-12-26T11:33:00.000-05:002013-12-26T11:33:04.105-05:00Top Ten "Top 10" of 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSonTQHWLupKV9T6hkG7cS7uLoPHdKT4r_6YiBlB23A-BCfDlz1q2fhg-kzLQJMLceGPrMbIjet8qeSnz2E30RRnZiDHYqemywETWl_kyMQ4XZ_sBcPQrqvjlpZl3Wql-5JrVMi9om_Dc/s1600/2013+has+been+evaluated.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSonTQHWLupKV9T6hkG7cS7uLoPHdKT4r_6YiBlB23A-BCfDlz1q2fhg-kzLQJMLceGPrMbIjet8qeSnz2E30RRnZiDHYqemywETWl_kyMQ4XZ_sBcPQrqvjlpZl3Wql-5JrVMi9om_Dc/s1600/2013+has+been+evaluated.jpg" /></a></div>
2013--it was quite a year, containing <a href="http://www.theawl.com/2013/12/november-sucked-so-bad">many memorable months</a>. Though we at the Volidity Report are often busy this time of year fleeing from <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2012/09/religious-rage.html">Druid Rage</a> and volunteering for the War on Christmas on the side of <a href="http://gawker.com/megyn-kelly-both-jesus-and-santa-were-white-so-stop-c-1481842503">Black Santa</a>, there is a tradition we need to uphold. As we internet consumers review <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/top-photojournalism-of-2013,34789/">the best photos of 2013</a> and look ahead to <a href="http://gawker.com/the-22-most-powerful-photos-of-2014-1479567671">the inspiring images of 2014</a>, there must also be someone to review the reviewers. Thus, following on our award-winning coverage of <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2011/12/top-ten-top-10-of-2011.html">2011</a> and <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2012/12/top-ten-top-10-of-2012.html">2012</a>, the Volidity Report is proud to present the Top Ten "Top 10" of 2013:<br />
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10) <a href="http://blog.linkedin.com/2013/12/11/buzzwords-2013/">Top 10 Overused LinkedIn Profile Buzzwords of 2013</a>: Make 2014 your year by being as irresponsible as possible!<br />
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9) <a href="http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2013/12/top_10_arizona_gun_stories_of.php">Top 10 Arizona Gun Stories of 2013</a>:
While some foolish liberals argue that the unrestricted ownership of
firearms could be dangerous, Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne thinks
that it is "inexcusable for teachers, students and school staff" at
Arizona schools not to be armed. Let's see how that works out in 2014!
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8) <a href="http://notjustok.com/2013/09/06/the-10-most-gifted-rappers-in-nigeria/">The 10 Most Gifted Rappers in Nigeria</a>:
Igbo is a Nigerian language that made its way into Carribbean patois,
which may explain why the accent sounds kind of familiar. It works for
guys like Phyno, who raps in his native language.<br />
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7) <a href="http://www.eurasiagroup.net/pages/top-risks-2013">Top Risks 2013</a>:
Emerging markets--still risky! But forget the indebted PIIGS or the
rising BRIC, watch out for the JIBs as big structural losers next year.<br />
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6) <a href="http://www.theskyiscrape.com/">Top Ten Pearl Jam Moments of 2013</a>:
Pearl Jam apparently had such a busy year that Number 10 starts at 12!
Familiarize yourself with all the essential moments of 2013, including
the genesis of the Pearl Jam podcast, the week they spent with Jimmy
Fallon, and how they changed rock forever with their bold merchandising
strategy!<br />
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5) <a href="http://www.thelocal.fr/galleries/news/top-ten-most-hated-celebrities-in-france">Top Ten 'most hated' celebrities in France</a>: Why can't Nabilla get any respect?<br />
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4) <a href="http://www.top10species.org/">Top 10 New Species 2013</a>:
Featuring the world's smallest vertebrate and the only reptile whose
name could be a protest or 1970s English punk song, the "No to the mine!
snake"<br />
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3) <a href="http://www.equestriadaily.com/2013/09/the-top-ten-pony-videos-of-august-2013.html">The Top Ten Pony Videos of August 2013</a>: What have the Bronies been up to this year? Who knows? Watch this video compilation and get more confused!<br />
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2) <a href="http://listtoptens.com/top-10-worlds-best-intelligence-agencies-2013/">Top 10 World’s Best Intelligence Agencies 2013</a>: Maybe if the CIA wasn't so worried about being "the most popular" intelligence agency, they could get back to Number 1 where they belong. After all, "the Agency has the credit of being one of most swift in dealing with every aspect of world issues."<br />
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1) <a href="http://www.glamour.com/about/top-10-college-women-2013">Top Ten College Women of 2013</a>: Women! In college? 2013 truly was the year everything changed.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">№ 1, 4, 7 & 9 suggested by</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586" style="color: #3d74a5; text-decoration: none;">Herrence Meritocracy</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">and № 2, 3, 5, 6, 8 & 10 suggested by</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/17518611438468637214" style="color: #3d74a5; text-decoration: none;">LK Shov</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">. All methodologies scientific.</span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-83211377016062363322013-10-08T09:37:00.001-04:002013-10-08T10:05:51.121-04:00The Ages of Civilization<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEH45oyoQigNBXmMAGjtOT5lzjS4YyhfVpsUX4OqhNUqkj32NmrVR3aSaYYBJ4U9EJnTpTM9clC08NSl7PBwmYkMuVFNsG5IySuudiWFVunENiqAi2lYZycQVeCk7TH4qdm1O-XH7C1GM/s1600/The+Ages+of+Civilization+header.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="98" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEH45oyoQigNBXmMAGjtOT5lzjS4YyhfVpsUX4OqhNUqkj32NmrVR3aSaYYBJ4U9EJnTpTM9clC08NSl7PBwmYkMuVFNsG5IySuudiWFVunENiqAi2lYZycQVeCk7TH4qdm1O-XH7C1GM/s320/The+Ages+of+Civilization+header.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<i>What year is it?</i> 2013 (of course!), you might say. Simple question, right? Well, other perspectives abound: it's also year 5774 of the Jewish calendar, 1434 AH of the Islamic calendar, 1392 of the Persian calendar, and CCXXII of the French Republican calendar. Over time however, these calendars were supplanted by the hegemony of the Gregorian calendar, with Papal revisions and later a nice neutral "CE" slapped on over "AD" for objectivity's sake.<br />
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Even if that debate has been somewhat settled, we are left with the question--in what age does 2013 AD/CE reside? Are we in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomic_age">Atomic Age</a> (1945-?), the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Age">Space Age</a> (1957-?) or the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_Age">Information Age</a> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_transistor">1947</a>-/<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invention_of_the_integrated_circuit">1958</a>-/<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arpanet#Creation">1969</a>-/<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microcomputer_revolution">1977</a>-?)??? Though we know at least that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jetsons#Premise">humanity will not enter the Jet Age until around 2062</a>, the overlapping ages of today's world present a dilemma. Just <i>what</i> is the defining characteristic of our time? If academics cannot achieve consensus, are there other expert sources we could consult?<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Indeed, if it is the current age of civilization we hope to ascertain, then who better than the creator of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civilization_%28video_game%29"><i>Civilization</i></a>, Sid Meier, to consult? And by "consult," Your Editor of course refers to playing the computer games designed by Meier and his contemporaries, including Will Wright's <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SimEarth">SimEarth</a></i> and Activision's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Call_to_Power"><i>Civilization</i> spin-off</a>. As the player advances and discovers new technologies, their civilization enters new historical eras. These chronologies have been transposed to the chart below for comparison.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPkdelKE_xWY-D-D1Ct90dKD79ka0QebDXidKPAYTQ9BBAhlpedUg4f4FOd3a0U0_-J2hAnHehh3L1UT-tKRseHIqTnuhvTGjnEDD3GVtw_G_i_ZMBIySZPKQUJTTKhHDZ3KBZYNXuTlE/s1600/Ages+of+Civilization+chart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPkdelKE_xWY-D-D1Ct90dKD79ka0QebDXidKPAYTQ9BBAhlpedUg4f4FOd3a0U0_-J2hAnHehh3L1UT-tKRseHIqTnuhvTGjnEDD3GVtw_G_i_ZMBIySZPKQUJTTKhHDZ3KBZYNXuTlE/s640/Ages+of+Civilization+chart.jpg" width="460" /></a></div>
Despite the differences in each game, there *is* some overlap. For <i>SimEarth</i>, the Atomic Age has given way to the Information Age. In <i>Civilization: Call to Power</i>, humanity is also transitioning into the Genetic Age. For <i>Civilization</i> proper, the conundrum of what follows the Modern Era remains essentially unsolved. Rather than being superseded by the Postmodern Era (presumably followed by the Post-postmodern Era), in <i>Civilization II</i> the game concludes with the Modern Era, while in <i>Civilization V</i> the Modern Era begets the Future Era (the hatched part of the graph). Who knows what <a href="http://civilization.wikia.com/wiki/Wonders_%28Civ5%29">wonders</a> might follow thereafter, in the Post-future Era?!<br />
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Hmm, is it possible that computer games don't actually know more than academics or popular conceptions? Certainly not! Perhaps continuing in the scientific vein of this study, we could engage in a process of synthesis. The two variants of the Modern Era should cancel one another out (and the foray into the Future Era simply be dropped, since we're living in the present, duh!), leaving the Information Age and the Genetic Age. These two can be nicely combined into what henceforth the Volidity Report shall refer to our present age of civilization, <b>The Biotech Age</b>.<br />
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For more critical video game analysis, stay tuned for future polemics on the <a href="http://www.salon.com/2013/10/05/the_legend_of_zelda_is_classist_sexist_and_racist/">raging debates over class, race, and gender in the Land of Hyrule</a>!Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-15452038944875061102013-05-06T14:29:00.000-04:002013-05-06T15:07:58.098-04:00NICE BOD: Volidity Report Short Stories Kind-Of Using the 'Exqusitie Corpse' Method Over Gmail While At Work ~~~ # 1: A CLOSE ENCOUNTER <a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma1loehEfv1rfp143o1_1280.jpg"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma1loehEfv1rfp143o1_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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Exquisite Corpse was a drawing game played by the Surrealists, and every person since. Each contributor writes a paragraph, and passes it on, adding to the story. We didn't do it 'blind' which I guess means it's not exactly EC, but who cares. Contributors to this round were C. Cameron, E. Wright, and LK Shov. Remember kids - just because you're in the office, doesn't mean you can't be productive!<br />
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One time, I was sitting in a booth at Baja Burrito. It was late, probably after 8, and I had just driven back into town. I could have bought some Wendy's on the drive, but I opted to just hold off and get the good stuff. It was late, but I remember this Baja had a bar. Strange, I remember thinking at the time. At the bar, a couple were sitting, pounding rolling rocks and waiting on their burritos to be made. They were clearly velociraptors, anyone could see that. They had long tails which allowed them to balance on their bar stools, and wore long trenches which hung down to the floor. They were bickering in hushed tones, but if I focused my attention I could make out some of what they were saying. "Diana just doesn't have any idea about social etiquette," said the one on the left. "If she wants to get fresh, she might just get popped. Is she afraid I won't?" "I think she's just getting you confused with Blake," said the other one, eyeing the empty ashtray on the bar. "She just puts up this armor, you can't get through. she is so annoying, and if that's the way shes going to act, I'm just don't know what I'm gonna do." The first raptor said nothing. His burrito had arrived.<br />
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Clearly though, it was more than just the burrito that the raptor had on his mind. Yes he had a deep-seated fondness for barbacoa (as do most velociraptors, for obvious reasons), but it was the struggle with Diana that really got to him. He didn't want to admit it to Valerie, his date on this fine evening, but his feelings and frustrations ran deeper than just annoyance over her social behavior. She had the finest, longest tail in town, and all the other single male raptors lusted over it. Including himself. It was just the way she slung it around for everyone to see that maddened him so. But it maddened him in other ways too, ways that couldn't be admitted it anyone else, other than joking or complaining to his date. All that was left at this time was to eat his burrito and continue getting drunk on Rolling Rocks.<br />
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"Say," said Valerie. "Don't look now but there's a human giving you a little stink eye at the end of the bar."<br />
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"Oh hush," he said. "You're drunk." But oh so casually, he craned his long neck to look at the human watching them and trying to eavesdrop. He didn't like it one bit, but for decorum's sake he tried as best as he could to ignore it.<br />
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Valerie was completely out of her comfort zone. First of all, she couldn’t believe that her date, the raptor she has been ogling over for weeks now, took her out to a bar at a BURRITO joint. Didn’t he know she was trying to cut carbs and follow that strict herbivore diet her best friend, Zara, was on? She guessed not. Second of all, he had the audacity to take her to a place where humans were free to roam around; Valerie understood that they didn’t pose any real threats, but ever since she had that run in with the douchebag at Wells Fargo, she tried her hardest to avoid those wimpy excuses for “animals.” However, the thing that was really bugging her about this whole “date” thing was the way Craig reacted with the mention of Diana. She knew she shouldn’t have brought her up, but she had to confirm to herself that the rumors weren’t true. Craig couldn’t have feelings for the oblivious, socially inept, ditsy excuse for a raptor that was Diana. But it was clear to Valerie that as much as she tried to diss Diana, she was always going to be second-rate in Craig’s mind. The way his eyes lit up the moment she said her name was a big enough blow to make Valerie down her beer. “I never should have met him here” she thought, “I fucking hate burritos."<br />
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The patrons were getting belligerent, but who has never seen that before. That's the thing about these sauropods. They're all talk. You try and get to know them, but you can never get past the drama. And the racism. My chalupa arrived, and my thoughts drifted out the window. Gloria was like that. The year was 1967, and I had been seeing this pretty little allosaur down in Montgomery. We met by happenstance. I - fresh out of the Ozarks, with my 2 year Certificate of Paleontology fresh from the printer, flapping in the breeze, and she- a curvaceous, 12 foot tall creature from the Cretaceous Period, found each other chatting at a house party downtown over mint juleps. If I am honest with myself, I knew from the get go that we could never be. It was that sense of urgency that probably drew us together. When Gloria told me she was leaving town the following week - there had been a 'mishap' at the museum of natural history- she asked if I would come with her, but I said no.</div>
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I snapped back to the present, the air was thick with the summer rain and the smoky aroma of cooked meat. Violence hung in the air like a freshly caught snapper ready to flop up and rake your skin with its scales in its last throes of life. The basketball game on ESPN was drawing the attention of most patrons, though a clear growling could be distinctly heard from the sauropod corner. I guess it goes to show how many people just don't see or hear what they don't want to or cant understand. But something about the growling of a velociraptor will put fear into the hearts of even the most hardened man. I hoped it had nothing to do with me, after the male one and I gave each other stink eye for a good five minutes earlier. So, instead of waiting around for him to try and eat me or some bullshit, I downed the last of my beer, paid my tab and walked out the door. I felt pretty good about having avoided an altercation with those 2 sauropods, and thought I might actually whistle a tune.<br />
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As I turned the corner of the building, headed towards my car, I noticed three young men in hooded sweatshirts lurking in the shadows. Surreptitiously glancing behind me and seeing no one else around, the fear I thought I had conquered earlier had swiftly returned. I really need a hobby, I thought.<br />
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<a href="http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/20/2098/YTP2D00Z/posters/rick-rudnicki-life-size-dinosaur-replica-at-prehistoric-dinosaur-park-calgary-zoo-calgary-canada.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/20/2098/YTP2D00Z/posters/rick-rudnicki-life-size-dinosaur-replica-at-prehistoric-dinosaur-park-calgary-zoo-calgary-canada.jpg" /></a><br />
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LK Shovhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17518611438468637214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-47608415888380819202013-05-06T11:03:00.001-04:002013-05-06T11:03:07.444-04:00Tales from the Spambots - Italian Spambots Indicating<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCz7d6MYRiP4ILELzCjzjVyCvIf5ewDRFzFDsJTKm_AbEb_gu9A01X0cwen-rp9A8F0YTxsE5fwj0-O7BEQuAw1C2jl7ERSd3hMkAAqtZXthx1WI04LTIoU-OjlTHfEk-tiNhX7n4wnD0/s1600/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="44" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCz7d6MYRiP4ILELzCjzjVyCvIf5ewDRFzFDsJTKm_AbEb_gu9A01X0cwen-rp9A8F0YTxsE5fwj0-O7BEQuAw1C2jl7ERSd3hMkAAqtZXthx1WI04LTIoU-OjlTHfEk-tiNhX7n4wnD0/s320/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Many, from <a href="http://italian.about.com/b/2008/06/05/italian-beautiful-fun-and-sexy.htm">About.com</a> to the <a href="http://takimag.com/article/the_best_and_worst_languages_in_the_world/">favorite web magazine of cranky racists</a> to <a href="http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Charles_V,_Holy_Roman_Emperor">Habsburg Emperor Charles V</a>, regard the Italian language as the most beautiful in the world. Twitterbots, in their <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2012/06/tales-from-spambots-humanoid.html">eternal quest to become more human</a>, have tried to learn about our emotions through our hobbies and online activities. Now a new generation has become more philosophical and linguistic, quoting great philosophers and timeless sayings from a variety of cultures.<br />
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Take for example the musings of Ruben Kenneth Galbraith--lesser known brother of noted economist J.K. Galbraith--forgotten by history but remembered by spambots:<br />
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Ruben Kenneth Galbraith~ Buenos aires generally is a position whereby men and women compliment valor besides behave throughout difficult per<br />
— Ozie Muno (@Meghannzhas) <a href="https://twitter.com/Meghannzhas/status/325816485559803905">April 21, 2013</a></blockquote>
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Or let's hear from Julianne Smiley, goateed resident of "ukraine, usa," who quotes some classic American wisdom:<br />
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Boys will be boys. - American Proverb<br />
— Julianne Smiley (@Bebechlx) <a href="https://twitter.com/Bebechlx/status/331208042446209024">May 6, 2013</a></blockquote>
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But like human users of the Interwebs, our Twitterbot friends have also grown fond of the Italian language, and its various indications:<br />
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hunger will be consuming. : italian language indicating<br />
— Rita Steitz (@Lashawnjkbt) <a href="https://twitter.com/Lashawnjkbt/status/330145338918842369">May 3, 2013</a></blockquote>
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So simple, yet poetic, Italian is the perfect language for branding. Perhaps Italian is also the original language of House Stark's motto "Winter is Coming" from Game of Thrones? The <a href="http://memecrunch.com/meme/9OV6/l-inverno-sta-arrivando/image.png">evidence</a> indicates as much...<br />
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direct sunlight is still beautiful, despite the fact that able to fixed. : italian language indicating<br />
— Latrisha Mollo (@Dongmmuz) <a href="https://twitter.com/Dongmmuz/status/330565463090282497">May 4, 2013</a></blockquote>
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Despite the fact that the Italian language as interpreted by spambots is beautiful, its typos are unable to be fixed.<br />
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
women of all ages typically converse actuality, however just isn't your entire fact. : italian language indicating<br />
— Hanh Toure (@Signezlng) <a href="https://twitter.com/Signezlng/status/329037511475208193">April 30, 2013</a></blockquote>
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Women of all ages *do* converse in actuality, in fact too much if you ask this Editor's opinion! However, spoken language <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_language#The_.27mother_tongues.27_hypothesis">may have been invented by women</a>, so I suppose we should give them some license. But the magic of conversation is simply not the entire fact of Spambot Italian.<br />
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youngsters together with extreme problems, amazing young children together with heartaches. : italian language indicating<br />
— Roberto Kuhse (@Solangelbpy) <a href="https://twitter.com/Solangelbpy/status/328845940171616256">April 29, 2013</a></blockquote>
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Beauty cannot be understood without ugliness, and joy without pain. Such does Spambot Italian address our bittersweet realities. If only I had known such poetry in my younger and more vulnerable years. Alas!<br />
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love's goods may be envy together with boobed religion. : italian language indicating<br />
— Alesha Snook (@Chastitykdjt) <a href="https://twitter.com/Chastitykdjt/status/330466083045777408">May 3, 2013</a></blockquote>
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Love's goods truly <i>are</i> a boobed religion! Finally, someone has conceived of a worthy True Faith, in a language the common man can comprehend. Now, if there was only a church (or perhaps a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Boobism-Religion/345375595550978">Facebook group</a>) to join...<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Hopefully the first of many listicles on Sonnets from the Spambots</i></span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-34448132652544931812013-03-11T17:41:00.001-04:002013-03-12T12:09:55.846-04:00Fiat Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmZhEOsRN7etk1RW8cme68z55tMBtWclQHE42YyVebwAFNV8QprvKouAM5CbOSw6g-7Wdjb01-njzPvajMRn3ytfM4HwenqbuF7Cu6f3hQOIEH61drQNuMEKfDrm6uEs0Lg_qLdwFdDl0/s1600/end+the+fed+-+stay+in+bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmZhEOsRN7etk1RW8cme68z55tMBtWclQHE42YyVebwAFNV8QprvKouAM5CbOSw6g-7Wdjb01-njzPvajMRn3ytfM4HwenqbuF7Cu6f3hQOIEH61drQNuMEKfDrm6uEs0Lg_qLdwFdDl0/s320/end+the+fed+-+stay+in+bed.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Thanks to the informative <a href="http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/01/ron-paul-newsletter-iowa-caucus-republican">newsletters</a> of Ron "<a href="https://twitter.com/RobPaul2012">Rob</a>" Paul, millions of Americans have learned about the evils of fiat currency. Rather than representative money, which can be exchanged for items with intrinsic value like gold, brass rods, cowrie shells, and <a href="http://wonkette.com/465504/ron-paul-to-put-america-back-on-the-chocolate-bar-standard">chocolate</a>, the United States has been since 1971 issuing money whose value is simply dictated by the State. Gold, of course, is the most natural basis for currency as a precious metal. Since ancient times, gold has been used to pay debts, demonstrate wealth, and be exchanged for anything from slaves to <a href="http://www.catsforgold.com/">cats</a>. But big government bureaucrats like Franklin Delano LOSERvelt and Tricky Dick Nixon decided to mess with the natural order of things, leaving us with <i>worthless</i> pieces of paper that just *happen* to be exchangeable for goods and services and constitute the world's primary reserve currency. Madness!<br />
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Now, your Editor awoke Sunday morning and immediately felt that something was amiss. He was shocked and horrified to learn that in the middle of the night, when no one was watching, the government had taken away an hour of sleep from him and every single American. Selling it to the sheeple with a promise of a later sunset and a sunny euphemism--"Daylight Savings Time"--these dastardly government takers have the gall to believe that they control time and take it from you at will. "Fiat time," essentially. After some research, your Editor discovered that DST was created in America in 1918, just a few years after the imposition of other such evils as the Federal Reserve System and federal income tax. And all of these were created under a President any American <a href="http://www.glennbeck.com/becku/presidentsyoushouldhate.php">should hate</a>, Woodrow Wilson, <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history_lesson/2010/10/hating_woodrow_wilson.html">whose administration we need to repeal</a>, for Freedom!<br />
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It's time for America to wake up! (figuratively speaking, naturally, because it also deserves another hour of sleep) The Volidity Report will work tirelessly, despite our lack of rest, to add the abolishment of fiat time to the Ron Paul ReLOVEution! For America!<br />
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<b>END THE FED, STAY IN BED - RON PAUL 2016</b>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-42438193736942962742013-02-19T17:41:00.000-05:002013-02-19T17:41:14.755-05:00Tales from the Spambots - DickSuperDick DickDick<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjPxHSdX5htRbme3brE-f-yLqGOrw1p0fU5dZj0ieGNCYGwXGTAoVRk2rQSMV8lYP2gT2anIDFrpNlTeeXp3EeRwZRUGQMSLn5Gzsq3G5Gg-Sk1BSWuZOvF66AAjW3TjcYds-VZVpClOc/s1600/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjPxHSdX5htRbme3brE-f-yLqGOrw1p0fU5dZj0ieGNCYGwXGTAoVRk2rQSMV8lYP2gT2anIDFrpNlTeeXp3EeRwZRUGQMSLn5Gzsq3G5Gg-Sk1BSWuZOvF66AAjW3TjcYds-VZVpClOc/s320/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" /></a></div>
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America is full of dicks: Dick Cheney, Andy Dick, et al. <a href="http://southpark.wikia.com/wiki/Scott_the_Dick">Even Canada has its share</a>! The internet, on the other hand, is chock full of dudes (though <a href="http://venturebeat.com/2012/08/22/social-media-demographics-stats-2012/">at an ever decreasing ratio</a>). Why, there's <a href="http://www.myspace.com/imdatdudesuccess">Datdude success</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/dollaz.datdude">Dollaz Datdude</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/themerchdude">the merch dude</a>. But as the Volidity Report's <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/search/label/tales%20from%20the%20spambots">research and investigations have revealed</a>, the spambot denizens of the internets tend to hybridize and evolve. We were still shocked, however, when we encountered this character.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXvHuQu0y2zCfOvWsRLKSrCzngmam1vmAMP3z81jZIQVfMsYsJNyvIWXRto68ZAOZ5VUOIaieaQwMtgOc_0PxFGbBYxMhosEAqnzsZsmBr2DKgynu1pYbp0XMl1qVVHRxJJwGRC9t1Eg/s1600/DickSuperDick+profile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXvHuQu0y2zCfOvWsRLKSrCzngmam1vmAMP3z81jZIQVfMsYsJNyvIWXRto68ZAOZ5VUOIaieaQwMtgOc_0PxFGbBYxMhosEAqnzsZsmBr2DKgynu1pYbp0XMl1qVVHRxJJwGRC9t1Eg/s320/DickSuperDick+profile.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Yes, of course I am speaking of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/dicksuperdick.dickdick">Dicksuperdick Dickdick</a>. Dicksuperdick Dickdick starts every morning with a bowl of spotted dick, puts on a pair of Dickies, goes to work (as Assistant Manager, natch) at Dick's Sporting Goods, then attends a political rally to support the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Indira_Congress_(Karunakaran)">DIC(K) party</a>. As the king of the dicks and a dudely dude, Mr. Dickdick appears to be at the vanguard of a new generation of spambots. Is there any way for us to learn more?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8-sDmSGLbiPKFVmy3MPw5CkbI4MLlB6-vhI3y-jGXjunP3IVq_sUdCxVykVOtj-JxqXXNbRdnED0DXEEW_eyYfoa7WAukEEe9Na5YKZgyNAXEkvP0OwOF-uEcTGwJkEbySSa5xZL0fVQ/s1600/Do+You+Know+Dicksuperdick+Dickdick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="18" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8-sDmSGLbiPKFVmy3MPw5CkbI4MLlB6-vhI3y-jGXjunP3IVq_sUdCxVykVOtj-JxqXXNbRdnED0DXEEW_eyYfoa7WAukEEe9Na5YKZgyNAXEkvP0OwOF-uEcTGwJkEbySSa5xZL0fVQ/s320/Do+You+Know+Dicksuperdick+Dickdick.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Do we *know* him? Sure! Facebook, the grand arbiter of social interactions, even said that he was a "Person [we] might know." Let's see if he will accept our friend request...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3d0OBV0Ht3shB9obovazBTd1x_A_ZiSObsOOLnWUihTVBdmtOlxwNZBxyEx9CYWpGyNcl7uWQqwJroALuG2a6U1WKYu7m0zA_CjTekD-t48lE3dY6by6ZS7wKzpwlQLL5HUcMcFu-ts/s1600/Dick+diet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3d0OBV0Ht3shB9obovazBTd1x_A_ZiSObsOOLnWUihTVBdmtOlxwNZBxyEx9CYWpGyNcl7uWQqwJroALuG2a6U1WKYu7m0zA_CjTekD-t48lE3dY6by6ZS7wKzpwlQLL5HUcMcFu-ts/s320/Dick+diet.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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What?! *We* need to lose weight first using Dr. Oz's method? Is he suggesting that the Volidity Report is in any way verbose and needs to be trimmed down?<br />
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Whatever. Guess who just got blocked! Judgmental dick...Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-43513560110129909292013-02-03T13:41:00.000-05:002013-02-04T11:02:55.725-05:00Tales From the Spambots - Who's Who of the Hour<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3stXxPBjUspMhEgMiwzJUvrOOw2E8qUZ5Xdvys8vQZaIWnYXjtMFHSUsDZ0GkptF5ONQARPb1al71AOQ2TlPTpxvEwK_LpQW_jaZI854tXi106z4ItdYcI0QQQ4QaAZrkjBNtB-5lE4Y/s1600/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="44" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3stXxPBjUspMhEgMiwzJUvrOOw2E8qUZ5Xdvys8vQZaIWnYXjtMFHSUsDZ0GkptF5ONQARPb1al71AOQ2TlPTpxvEwK_LpQW_jaZI854tXi106z4ItdYcI0QQQ4QaAZrkjBNtB-5lE4Y/s320/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">We here at the Volidity Report often write about the <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2011/01/man-of-year-2010.html">Man of the Year</a> and the <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2011/12/top-ten-top-10-of-2011.html">stories</a> [<a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2012/12/top-ten-top-10-of-2012.html">of the stories</a>] of the year, but what about the men of the month, week, day, or...<i>hour</i>??? If even a dog can have its day, why not give man--a more highly evolved creature, with reasoning abilities--smaller units of time? Luckily, there are those who subscribe to this theory *and* wanted to recognize the accomplishments of the Volidity Report:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">From: Lisa Davis, Editor</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:40 PM</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">To: [<a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586">Herrence Meritocracy</a>]</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Subject: Who's Who in Academia (January 2013 edition)</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Good morning.</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">We're writing to let you know that you received Honorable Mention in yesterday's article titled "Who's Who in Academia" by Joseph Bozanek.</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The article will remain available at</span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">http://www.newsdigest.co/news/<wbr></wbr>academia </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">for the next few hours and is free to view or download.</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Wishing you the best of continued success,</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Lisa Davis, Editor</span></span></span><br><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">News Digest International</span></span></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Having previously received <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2011/05/tales-from-spambots-lambert-academic.html">academic recognition from other Lisas in the past</a>, we here at the Volidity Report were not surprised to be honored in such a way. But the idea of honoring someone for only a set of hours is a potentially a brilliant innovation for the Millennial Generation. As we blog daily, update the Book of Faces hourly, and livetweet our activities minute-by-minute, it is only fitting that we recognize people for their accomplishments over the course of a few Earth hours. When the Volidity Report acquires some <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/01/the-paradox-of-the-unpaid-internship/266964/">unpaid interns</a> or <a href="http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/26/the-rise-of-the-permanent-temp-economy/">temp workers</a>, expect us to use our tumbling Twitters to honor a "Volid Hero of the Hour" every hour, on the hour. Until then!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">-Herrence Meritocracy</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i>Editor-in-Chief, Volidity Report</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i>Who's Who in Academia: January 30, 2013 - 12:00 - 4:00 pm (EST)</i></span></span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-34251803558726853342013-01-21T17:40:00.001-05:002013-01-21T23:07:13.719-05:00Cooking with Volidity - Prehistoric Heritage Chicken Nuggets<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc8wUGWwzZNgKFJFvHo_O0lfR2zLE9lH5rLVzzR7hyphenhyphenQ4uqrUdFUR-HOV0TjAwkzk_Q3ctHleM72DDYjZG75x4mnFrpYNz0eHmMrGIVXs5s80WVYLzIqMEtD1sX83umEH_wFGAZVzKwfnA/s1600/1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc8wUGWwzZNgKFJFvHo_O0lfR2zLE9lH5rLVzzR7hyphenhyphenQ4uqrUdFUR-HOV0TjAwkzk_Q3ctHleM72DDYjZG75x4mnFrpYNz0eHmMrGIVXs5s80WVYLzIqMEtD1sX83umEH_wFGAZVzKwfnA/s320/1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
Rarely is the question asked, is our young adults learning? In New York City, this is a particularly pointed problem, considering the vast hordes of 20-something year old hipsters who inhabit the borough of Brooklyn. These hipsters don't want to grow up and be adults, <a href="http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/parenting/pa0146.htm">even in the face of becoming parents themselves</a>. Our hipster youth is thus infantilized, becoming "<a href="http://bigthink.com/amped/kidult-vs-adult-americas-next-great-divide">kidults" who only act for the sake of youthful nostalgia</a>--e.g. ignoring the 2012 U.S. presidential election until Big Bird was threatened by Willard "Mittens" Romney. How do we reach these young people to teach them about science?<br />
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Why, through comfort food, of course! Since <a href="http://www.dailylife.com.au/dl-food/foodies-are-the-new-hipsters-20120919-266m1.html">foodies are the new hipsters</a>, and <a href="http://www.bkmag.com/BKFood/archives/2013/01/14/hipster-foodies-are-bankrupting-themselves?showFullText=true">hipsters have a propensity to shell out half their income for fine cuisine</a>, Your Editor-in-Chief at the Volidity Report decided to supplement a field trip to the American Museum of Natural History organized by <a href="https://twitter.com/boxysean">BoxySean</a> with an educational meal.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAvOJe-2Vk577fVc_lMabWfMN_aruI_end9LpeOZ5j9CqWRTqkRd4LFRTqNu-szb7mqypIPp4jIr7Cvdssj8RGPPZOoh4jegjRq_dv08pVA_fOIXgheHcEroM9om7zahdY3WlVzLElnKY/s1600/DINO.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAvOJe-2Vk577fVc_lMabWfMN_aruI_end9LpeOZ5j9CqWRTqkRd4LFRTqNu-szb7mqypIPp4jIr7Cvdssj8RGPPZOoh4jegjRq_dv08pVA_fOIXgheHcEroM9om7zahdY3WlVzLElnKY/s320/DINO.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
After some close encounters with dinosaurs, your Editor-in-Chief decided to reinforce these lessons with some homemade dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, the ultimate childhood treat. Following a trip to a <a href="http://the-meathook.com/">local hipster butcher</a>, where ground meat from a Quebecois heritage breed chicken (<a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/208808">we believe she might have been named Céleste</a>) was procured, I also resolved to make these nuggets gluten-free, so that No Manchild Is Left Behind.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc7coaa9t5XOJJe7Vbg2kkFfiYRdCIdWm31EgppNvDMb3sGgHY0Wu2dv4qfQGZOJhrX1aq7qgUzf24O9YaoTnGQFm6KzPsmp-G1Cki8uJMj4E3xJgz3NHqA7e6dHn4J8_cnzdVdF44YO4/s1600/2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc7coaa9t5XOJJe7Vbg2kkFfiYRdCIdWm31EgppNvDMb3sGgHY0Wu2dv4qfQGZOJhrX1aq7qgUzf24O9YaoTnGQFm6KzPsmp-G1Cki8uJMj4E3xJgz3NHqA7e6dHn4J8_cnzdVdF44YO4/s320/2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Ingredients<br />
<ul>
<li>Ground heritage chicken meat (QC)</li>
<li>Gluten-free bread-crumbs (MA)</li>
<li>Gluten-free rolled oats (OR)</li>
<li>Parmesan cheese (NY)</li>
<li>Granulated garlic powder (WI)</li>
<li>Paprika (Hungary)</li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-SnqarZ9HeL3JVbx55MhIEQoLvas3-lkmlPHDqZ3cYk1zRISKqzyWeA0HIXH-4uVn6zeI5mJUa5hyphenhyphen9rECVmsz2LZjo42iJ9JE0zEezN6b80aoAKbUltU-rFxghPW7MBLWqao6Z6YVgY/s1600/3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-SnqarZ9HeL3JVbx55MhIEQoLvas3-lkmlPHDqZ3cYk1zRISKqzyWeA0HIXH-4uVn6zeI5mJUa5hyphenhyphen9rECVmsz2LZjo42iJ9JE0zEezN6b80aoAKbUltU-rFxghPW7MBLWqao6Z6YVgY/s320/3.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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The oats were ground up into a fine powder, then mixed into the ground chicken to give it some substance along with the garlic and paprika, for flavorizing.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLMT237LFzfsfCFvMchvNd7ND-4FTnYPZWIovyWpvS6edgt-idtJqGqNQR7LMQYGM7wDiU6wpQyqolwVdznywABCs2vRct4QeCC5EWspAfcf6XTQ63vbylI3l1TaehBI8Y-hiqaWwV2hU/s1600/4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLMT237LFzfsfCFvMchvNd7ND-4FTnYPZWIovyWpvS6edgt-idtJqGqNQR7LMQYGM7wDiU6wpQyqolwVdznywABCs2vRct4QeCC5EWspAfcf6XTQ63vbylI3l1TaehBI8Y-hiqaWwV2hU/s320/4.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then the meat was shaped into three species of dinosaur with the aid of some cookie cutters: <i>Stegosaurus stenops</i>, <i>Barosaurus lentus</i>, and <i>Tyrannosaurus rex</i>. Each "terrible lizard" was then dunked into a mixture of gluten-free breadcrumbs and shredded parmesan, and arranged on a tray.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVhMxGOZJdiYcgWfI69ki7jbinFEFlOovG-Ax30nIo290OfCONyIGB32jpwYv-4qU5KWAIfd8uzqY1Th9LlemGhdO9B5RQVxk_pVCARa0-yBvbHPNKkgYOlMJqt8Ms_INt1JeA3wnAb98/s1600/5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVhMxGOZJdiYcgWfI69ki7jbinFEFlOovG-Ax30nIo290OfCONyIGB32jpwYv-4qU5KWAIfd8uzqY1Th9LlemGhdO9B5RQVxk_pVCARa0-yBvbHPNKkgYOlMJqt8Ms_INt1JeA3wnAb98/s320/5.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Despite the Volidity Report's orientation as pro-frying (for confirmation, see <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2011/01/cooking-with-volidity-organic-local.html">this</a>, <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2012/04/cooking-with-volidity-governors-family.html">this</a>, or <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2012/08/cooking-with-volidity-chick-fil-gay.html">this</a>), these dino-nuggets were placed in the oven in order to provide maximum healthiness for kidults, and to reflect the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesozoic#Climate">higher atmospheric temperatures of the Mesozoic Era</a>.</div>
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And thus we have a full diorama of <i>Tyrannosaurus</i>, as it was in the late Cretaceous, with leafy ferns and the many fallen tree trunks that would form the oil shale we know and love today. But wait, what is that spherical object by the Tyrannosaur's head? Could it be an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cretaceous%E2%80%93Paleogene_extinction_event#The_Chicxulub_Asteroid_Impact">asteroid</a>???<br />
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Well, we suppose even good meals will go extinct! (just as all kidults must eventually grow up--we *hope*)</div>
Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-12701028543545081192012-12-27T09:36:00.003-05:002012-12-27T09:36:51.734-05:00Top Ten "Top 10" of 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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2012 was a big year for planet Earth, with 366 days of activities across the internets and meatspace alike. As <a href="http://www.wusa9.com/news/photo-gallery.aspx?storyid=234746">druids celebrate the solstice outdoors in sacred spaces</a>, and <a href="http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/12/worst-xmas-ever/">Americans celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by tweeting "#fuckyoumom for not getting the myPhone 4S"</a>, the bloggers of the world begin gathering the raw materials for end-of-the-year listicles. As <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2011/12/top-ten-top-10-of-2011.html">demonstrated last year</a>, the Volidity Report is no stranger to this phenomenon. But, standing above ordinary blogs and news websites, we would like to present (for the reader's convenience) the Volidity Report's Top Ten "Top 10" list for the year of our lord of tech toys 2012:<br />
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10) <a href="http://www.techinasia.com/china-internet-baidu-top-10-searches-2012/">The Top 10 Chinese Searches on Baidu in 2012 (Hint: There’s a Lot About Corruption) </a></div>
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Shanghai-based Steven Millward's list provides some indication of the extent to which the Chinese authorities censor online.</div>
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9) <a href="http://www.travelandleisure.com/worldsbest/2012/islands">Top 10 Islands 2012</a></div>
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Though the Volidity Report is appalled to see that Staten Island and Long Island (the *longest* in these United States) were snubbed, we plan on campaigning hard for Florida, the Crimea, and Korea next year as the Top 10 Peninsulas of 2013.</div>
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8) <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2012/12/2012-top-ten-signs-of-a-warming-world.html">2012: Top Ten Signs of a Warming World</a></div>
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For all the haters out there. <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">[and for those interested in the continuation of list #9 above -<a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586">Ed.</a>]</span></i></div>
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7) <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/17/stun-gun-stories_n_2317114.html">Top 10 Stun Gun Stories Of 2012</a></div>
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As *shocking* as these stories may be, given that none of them featured a catch phrase as memorable as "Don't tase me, bro", can this really count as news?</div>
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6) <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Romanian_Top_100_top_10_singles_in_2012">List of Romanian Top 100 top 10 singles in 2012</a><br />
Flo Rida apparently had a pretty decent year in Romania. Who knew?<br />
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5) <a href="http://www.opensecrets.org/pres12/contrib.php?id=N00009638">Top Contributors to Barack Obama</a>/<a href="http://www.opensecrets.org/pres12/contrib.php?id=N00000286">Top Contributors to Mitt Romney</a></div>
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A pretty necessary list for this past year, along with... <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">[And if "The University of California vs. Goldman Sachs" is not the narrative of our time, I don't know what is -<a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586">Ed.</a>]</span></i></div>
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4) <a href="http://globalvoicesonline.org/2012/12/20/the-ten-biggest-sex-and-gender-stories-of-2012-in-china/">The Ten Biggest Sex and Gender Stories of 2012 in China</a><br />
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The Middle Kingdom seems to be just experiencing First Wave feminism at the same time that octogenarians are boldly embracing their nature as transgendered. We're looking forward to the Ten Biggest Women and Gender Studies Dissertations on China in 2013!</div>
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3) <a href="http://www.southernenvironment.org/about/top_10_2012/">Top 10 Endangered Places 2012</a><br />
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The American South is full of natural beauty that is facing apocalyptic destruction at the hands of lawmakers who are more concerned with the biblical apocalypse and a populace likely more aware of the Mayan apocalypse. Something, something, <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2012/08/cooking-with-volidity-chick-fil-gay.html">Chick-fil-a</a>...</div>
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2) <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthpicturegalleries/9285698/The-top-10-new-species-for-2012-include-sneezing-monkey-and-blue-tarantula.html">The top 10 new species for 2012 include sneezing monkey and blue tarantula</a><br />
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Just like your favorite characters on the YouTubes, Earth's best new species of 2012 all have whimsical traits distinguishing them from less endearing members of their phyla!</div>
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1) <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2012/12/19/the-top-10-chinese-internet-memes-of-2012/">The Top 10 Chinese Internet Memes of 2012</a><br />
WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT "AIRCRAFT CARRIER STYLE"???<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">№ 2, 3, 4, 7, & 9 suggested by</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586" style="color: #3d74a5; text-decoration: none;">Herrence Meritocracy</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">and № 1, 5, 6, 8 & 10 suggested by</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/17518611438468637214" style="color: #3d74a5; text-decoration: none;">LK Shov</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14px;">. All methodologies scientific.</span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-37874764600595101672012-09-18T23:40:00.001-04:002012-09-18T23:50:25.410-04:00Religious Rage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEwnuIgaKZNfCXcVkop3_frjqCDQTjuzQIuLkjTH8B8BZk1RvbeHJvnUIo2ISIUHRCrCqFerobbw3hou0iYbfhdUGYj3hQSTAABFbAzgl0K5uZbIQcbOF5uoFieBdHsmR9kWmQog97cRQ/s1600/newsweek-muslim-rage-cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEwnuIgaKZNfCXcVkop3_frjqCDQTjuzQIuLkjTH8B8BZk1RvbeHJvnUIo2ISIUHRCrCqFerobbw3hou0iYbfhdUGYj3hQSTAABFbAzgl0K5uZbIQcbOF5uoFieBdHsmR9kWmQog97cRQ/s320/newsweek-muslim-rage-cover.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
MUSLIM RAGE! It's all the rage right now, with protests sweeping across the Arab/Muslim/brown people world followed by <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/09/16/ayaan-hirsi-ali-on-the-islamists-final-stand.html">important trend pieces to describe them</a>. A single magazine cover has since begat a <a href="http://gawker.com/5943828/13-powerful-images-of-muslim-rage">bevy of poignant images on this MUSLIM RAGE</a>. But are the liberal media once again glazing over the issue, and not asking the hard questions? Are there other religions with even more <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primal_Rage">primal rage</a> on display? The Volidity Report investigates further in a series it hopes <i>Newsweek</i> will eventually publish. We've even made the covers for them!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVxBv9SVFzSFJDwaHIGA0DpXaJo4RjsZlUpo9ktxGXSsWMlTAzC52MOctvlEGDMTvVu4lZJeuKet33O0Z2xRl5JE6Uxn6fiq44ulai61uc_h7lKC8SSkJK0Uo0D9gEoPW1J3rM6OY4JI8/s1600/Buddhist+Rage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVxBv9SVFzSFJDwaHIGA0DpXaJo4RjsZlUpo9ktxGXSsWMlTAzC52MOctvlEGDMTvVu4lZJeuKet33O0Z2xRl5JE6Uxn6fiq44ulai61uc_h7lKC8SSkJK0Uo0D9gEoPW1J3rM6OY4JI8/s320/Buddhist+Rage.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.spiritualitytoday.org/spir2day/884025chandrak.html">Buddhist monks may often be silent</a>, but this only makes them silent but deadly. This <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084684/">silent rage</a> has been shown to be quite dangerous in film, and we should all be concerned as Buddhism has grown to be one of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism_in_the_United_States">largest religions in the United States</a> in recent years.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij0LvPXziohXwckM2Tl73ISttjikJVmTJFOdun07YMkWZhB5dBMs1RquYy8cogdlMDR2VyYlpRbgXtNqcQ2rIfjSqpAHC2shzKR_oL6hkLpHpugjyexktQTcvekawO-g_pCm0CCvNJWiI/s1600/Zoroastrian+rage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij0LvPXziohXwckM2Tl73ISttjikJVmTJFOdun07YMkWZhB5dBMs1RquYy8cogdlMDR2VyYlpRbgXtNqcQ2rIfjSqpAHC2shzKR_oL6hkLpHpugjyexktQTcvekawO-g_pCm0CCvNJWiI/s320/Zoroastrian+rage.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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Ah yes, the Zoroastrians. Anyone that worships in a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_temple">fire temple</a> should automatically be suspect, as <a href="http://www.zeldawiki.org/Fire_Temple_(Ocarina_of_Time)">they can be quite difficult to traverse and filled with dangerous monsters</a>. Their obsession with fire betrays their burning rage, which bubbles just under the surface at all times.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdXoqE5jUV-sDUBTq1ey2wxLTP8cpsuoHpeXlWUV73BF3FHQqAVU-xlzhWH85Ixb0zgp_x5uEMdxGMB3e6krTEvXsJv9osDmoMtaVHFhNpSQqMEvv7XW8S963a-xh05O-1LbVb5rsh_vw/s1600/Mennonite+rage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdXoqE5jUV-sDUBTq1ey2wxLTP8cpsuoHpeXlWUV73BF3FHQqAVU-xlzhWH85Ixb0zgp_x5uEMdxGMB3e6krTEvXsJv9osDmoMtaVHFhNpSQqMEvv7XW8S963a-xh05O-1LbVb5rsh_vw/s320/Mennonite+rage.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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Mennonites--they may seem nice, but who really knows what they're thinking behind those beards and under those headscarves. Perhaps they are bottling up rage and resentment from years of being mistaken for the Amish or from not getting to go on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumspringa" style="font-style: italic;">rumspringa</a>. Who knows? All we know is that they are not to be trusted.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTtnFmrNUlAyKT1QZFR_2rnhu_qYLTzoec09KH4EYrfb7x_LE13chF7k_fm7MAL2RA9I1cbZuThyphenhyphenT6SYVzhLpkTM1rxP6iH3NpbcrYLhjFOfDyFZ6da0cZz5Q8y8ig_4-ONmXT5FYRRO8/s1600/Druid+rage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTtnFmrNUlAyKT1QZFR_2rnhu_qYLTzoec09KH4EYrfb7x_LE13chF7k_fm7MAL2RA9I1cbZuThyphenhyphenT6SYVzhLpkTM1rxP6iH3NpbcrYLhjFOfDyFZ6da0cZz5Q8y8ig_4-ONmXT5FYRRO8/s320/Druid+rage.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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Druids. THEY'RE BACK! And filled with rage at their suppression by the Roman Empire. Britons should be terrified as <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2162495/Summer-solstice-2012-Stonehenge-soggiest-years-Royal-Ascot-set-washout-too.html">every solstice these zealots gather</a> in greater numbers, asserting themselves on their ancient patrimony.</div>
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Is *every* religion consumed by rage right now? Is their no solace for us? Perhaps we can find in atheism a calm and contented demographic? ...Nope! Looks like <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2006/04/25/trying-to-understand-angry-atheists.html"><i>Newsweek</i> has already examined the "angry atheist"</a> as well. I guess we're all just screwed!</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>This has been a Volidity Report Special Report</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><i>™</i></span></div>
Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-52475891526688772182012-08-01T09:26:00.001-04:002012-08-03T00:08:47.026-04:00Cooking with Volidity - Chick-fil-gay<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUh9rPfSaJ36nCE5xBn_MU2NS7wLmv_UxhyphenhyphenEcsQ5HzbIAvYWXkOe6yiz2fT6NqQGMbJ1vMpl6h6ZNxy578WHTVuQPxAqoS_d5uXmR-PwBj1Y_GTHSqRXbn4t15o6OV-NPcX9x3HPiSCzE/s1600/IMG_0192.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUh9rPfSaJ36nCE5xBn_MU2NS7wLmv_UxhyphenhyphenEcsQ5HzbIAvYWXkOe6yiz2fT6NqQGMbJ1vMpl6h6ZNxy578WHTVuQPxAqoS_d5uXmR-PwBj1Y_GTHSqRXbn4t15o6OV-NPcX9x3HPiSCzE/s320/IMG_0192.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Long ago, when this blog was yet young, Your Editor-in-Chief authored a piece on the notion of "<a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2009/10/eat-mor-chikin-be-mor-conservativ.html">Chick-fil-a conservatism</a>," predicting that it would become the predominant ideology of the Republican Party. Once again, the Volidity Report has proven itself to be on the cutting edge, now that fried chicken of a Christian vintage is in the spotlight.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Following several years of other media exposés on Chick-fil-a's "<a href="http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/02/04/chick-fil-a-controversy-shines-light-on-restaurants-christian-dna/">Christian DNA</a>" (possibly genetically modified chicken genes) and liberal <a href="http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/youngandhungry/2012/04/11/playing-chicken-should-chick-fil-as-politics-ruin-your-appetite/">waffling over whether it's ethical to consume Chick-fil-a's delicious fries</a> (especially difficult, as they too are in the shape of waffles), scandal broke out last month when <a href="http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=38271">company President Dan Cathy said in an interview what he's probably always been saying</a>, that he supports "traditional marriage" and "Biblical values."<sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">1</span></sup> Then all hell--or in the language of Chick-fil-a, H-E-double hockey sticks--broke loose, with boycotts and <a href="https://twitter.com/mayoredlee/status/228635058636992512">threats from mayors of major cities</a> directed at the godly chicken chain. Then former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, like his colleagues <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2009/10/eat-mor-chikin-be-mor-conservativ.html">Mark Sanford and Haley Barbour</a> a fan of conservative chicken, declared a <a href="http://wonkette.com/479047/mike-huckabee-orders-you-to-stop-criticizing-this-anti-gay-fast-food-chicken-company">day of action</a> to counter the "vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry from the left." The battle lines have thus been drawn between <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/guest-voices/post/with-chick-fil-a-fight-progressive-mayors-get-their-ground-zero-mosque-moment/2012/07/31/gJQAEqTiLX_blog.html">liberal mayors</a> and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/25/rick-santorum-chick-fil-a-_n_1703044.html">conservative</a> <a href="http://gawker.com/5930145/sarah-palin-went-to-chick+fil+a-just-to-let-everyone-know-she-hates-gay-people">former elected officials</a>.<br />
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As today is the Huck[abee]ster's "Chick-fil-a Appreciation Day," the Volidity Report would like to resolve this crisis in a manner that the lovers of fried chicken who also happen not to be homophobes could appreciate. Some <a href="http://www.seriouseats.com/2012/07/the-food-lab-how-to-make-a-chick-fil-a-sandwich-at-home.html?ref=pop_serious_eats">fellow</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNq8r4S5jSk">travelers</a> on the interwebs have already tried to pass on the secrets of the legendary <a href="http://www.chick-fil-a.com/Food/Menu-Detail/ChickfilA-Chicken-Sandwich">sandwich invented by Chick-fil-a</a>. Yet, what is there to do for those of us who cannot but want to start our day with <a href="http://www.chick-fil-a.com/Food/Menu-Detail/ChickfilA-Chicken-Biscuit">fried chicken inside a buttermilk biscuit</a>? Thus, did the Volidity Report make a chicken biscuit that was Chick-fil-<b><i>gay</i></b>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgojEJN546Eb183B7Em8VzoV0nTlDXdPwl3erTE17MQipOK77BIZvaNkIUPOVhmI9UtVnWRY_zJp5w6ZYAnU_Wbs2Xjxd22gFfU1kJbTxkH2w1DS8ZhX2FQihUzDbpivvc-SpjB1z-v4C0/s1600/IMG_0182.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgojEJN546Eb183B7Em8VzoV0nTlDXdPwl3erTE17MQipOK77BIZvaNkIUPOVhmI9UtVnWRY_zJp5w6ZYAnU_Wbs2Xjxd22gFfU1kJbTxkH2w1DS8ZhX2FQihUzDbpivvc-SpjB1z-v4C0/s320/IMG_0182.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Biscuits:<br />
<ul>
<li>Organic buttermilk</li>
<li>Butter</li>
<li>Flour</li>
<li>Baking powder</li>
<li>Baking soda</li>
<li>Salt</li>
<li>All-natural food dye</li>
</ul>
Chicken:<br />
<ul>
<li>All-natural chicken</li>
<li>Organic buttermilk</li>
<li>Breadcrumbs</li>
<li>Peanut oil</li>
</ul>
After mixing the biscuit ingredients in a food processor, biscuit-shaped pieces were cut from the dough and placed on a baking pan with parchment paper. To imbue these biscuits with some gay pride, the food dye was used to make a rainbow biscuit and some purple biscuits, before they were baked.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk6Vy-oczKh1F2da4U5dBBG8dsCd1BLUYf_52Qk8izaiaxtUw7aXfSkueQQpLz4552IjMCThNzw-pw8vaeLONxbep-YDiWbHe7ea7w6gGatnPAgi87POTyUUi3WKWtMOAHc6xt0smua9Q/s1600/IMG_0183.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk6Vy-oczKh1F2da4U5dBBG8dsCd1BLUYf_52Qk8izaiaxtUw7aXfSkueQQpLz4552IjMCThNzw-pw8vaeLONxbep-YDiWbHe7ea7w6gGatnPAgi87POTyUUi3WKWtMOAHc6xt0smua9Q/s320/IMG_0183.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
After soaking in buttermilk, the (sadly, drab and colorless) chicken was breaded and fried in peanut oil, as decreed by the Chick-fil-a covenant.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAgVhb1DomLWug_orK49OkhydQyW8YVp9xYUbHszPCHtZ7DeTvPnkJL5rXtsjfHQP4C3MYhxFwCBCNZj2j0_iyoEZ1LZcBYlsHwyBOo5QmhZerGHlSgwpKD1q-3QIC0JoAUtJCq_wPfto/s1600/IMG_0188.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAgVhb1DomLWug_orK49OkhydQyW8YVp9xYUbHszPCHtZ7DeTvPnkJL5rXtsjfHQP4C3MYhxFwCBCNZj2j0_iyoEZ1LZcBYlsHwyBOo5QmhZerGHlSgwpKD1q-3QIC0JoAUtJCq_wPfto/s320/IMG_0188.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Then the smokin' hot slab o' biscuits were removed from the oven.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigeQVw9twFCo7FqA87c7GacxUYEUKJOlMS3-O0oSl4CLSVeeh6LeznTEl3XYf82UCIjO6C8Lhm126pPZWWPo1JVhGvvc-0jTThM47pkGnvmFxSvRzcVweqR4-Jiseu05GHk-k_84I8ESU/s1600/IMG_0191.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigeQVw9twFCo7FqA87c7GacxUYEUKJOlMS3-O0oSl4CLSVeeh6LeznTEl3XYf82UCIjO6C8Lhm126pPZWWPo1JVhGvvc-0jTThM47pkGnvmFxSvRzcVweqR4-Jiseu05GHk-k_84I8ESU/s320/IMG_0191.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
The biscuits were sliced and--in the style of an <a href="http://semiprofessional.tumblr.com/post/8051620604/theres-nothing-better-than-a-good-episode-of">apparently gay- <i>and</i> Martha Stewart-friendly</a> <a href="http://piesnthighs.com/index.html">local Brooklyn restaurant</a>--slathered with butter, hot sauce, and honey. Your Editor-in-Chief enjoys his solidarity meals, and this one--bigotry-free and with 100% added color--was one of the best. And now he will be able to replicate this meal, and not have to sneak into the <a href="http://retrolife.typepad.com/the_overexamined_life/2009/10/manhattans-secret-chickfila-yes-there-is-one-chickfila-in-new-york-city-and-this-is-where-it-is.html">secret NYU Chick-fil-a</a> without getting noticed anymore...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjDYlIjBtytKx0yBwH-z5OeBKzvARnni0WFvTXDZIgGD8yMIVEnbR27rC5XNtKW4t9ObYAL_SwjwvHIZ5cSbssrierqQMQs19r7JflYT0thc0xhvrelLVobLq1T5TPR6bnabH2fiabOso/s1600/IMG_0197.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjDYlIjBtytKx0yBwH-z5OeBKzvARnni0WFvTXDZIgGD8yMIVEnbR27rC5XNtKW4t9ObYAL_SwjwvHIZ5cSbssrierqQMQs19r7JflYT0thc0xhvrelLVobLq1T5TPR6bnabH2fiabOso/s320/IMG_0197.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">1. Presumably, this means a man marrying several wives who are his relatives, receiving a dowry, and avoiding his wife/wives while they are menstruating.</span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-82108827767799418522012-07-16T11:38:00.001-04:002012-10-10T00:54:36.365-04:00Society for the Protection of Unborn Kittens<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsIy97eDOiuxFqBzWsiOXtAPYqHKhe4HtGnXKAcfo-yFAlZxSRY4XM5eiQMRa2Qp_2uelF4Ukz3h8vuhVeMhut6HKE_vGZI_7e5sFPibKzKYAfcidC-urPThSQ8XeIqQJ-3-9-846zumQ/s1600/cat+abortion2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsIy97eDOiuxFqBzWsiOXtAPYqHKhe4HtGnXKAcfo-yFAlZxSRY4XM5eiQMRa2Qp_2uelF4Ukz3h8vuhVeMhut6HKE_vGZI_7e5sFPibKzKYAfcidC-urPThSQ8XeIqQJ-3-9-846zumQ/s320/cat+abortion2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
We all know that Barry "Beaux" Bama is the <a href="http://aclj.org/planned-parenthood/jay-sekulow-abortion-president-obama">abortion president</a>. Since his election, untold numbers of helpless fetuses and embryos have been <a href="http://gawker.com/5879254/which-companies-are-using-aborted-human-fetuses-in-their-food">slaughtered to make our Coke Zero, Oreo cookies, and chicken fries</a>, as far as we know. Despite this grim situation, "<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/07/us/politics/super-tuesday-exit-polls-show-voters-focused-on-economy.html">very few voters mentioned abortion as a deciding factor</a>" in the Republican presidential primaries this year, and now they have effectively given the nomination to Willard "Mittens" Romney, who <a href="http://video.msnbc.msn.com/meet-the-press/22283961#22283961">kinda maybe was ok with abortion before</a>. Though the situation with humanity's unborn seems helpless at present, there is <i>another</i> mass slaughter going on that could potentially galvanize the greater population toward a pro-life perspective.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnb6b1bPVYYvKuuO7iCmYR3_24z4U8zvjcTxgaJAww38kH9o04XXxyhmzvILHB4Ht8B4ZPjZBGreohVSoWYaM8U6zVuSFvqI3degLUzl11fw_Gpa-j3EzqXJPSRZmbbhZx-NIkpkru-AM/s1600/Cat+abortion+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="95" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnb6b1bPVYYvKuuO7iCmYR3_24z4U8zvjcTxgaJAww38kH9o04XXxyhmzvILHB4Ht8B4ZPjZBGreohVSoWYaM8U6zVuSFvqI3degLUzl11fw_Gpa-j3EzqXJPSRZmbbhZx-NIkpkru-AM/s320/Cat+abortion+4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I am, of course, describing <b>cat abortion</b>. Yes, the aborting of feline fetuses is apparently a regular occurrence across these United States. Veterinarians rationalize this cruel practice by describing it as an "<a href="http://www.petmd.com/blogs/fullyvetted/2007/may/feline-abortion-often-unnerving-necessity#.T_5jx47ES_t">unnerving necessity</a>," as they admit to having personally performed the procedure hundreds of times. They then try to assuage their guilt by <a href="http://www.petmd.com/blogs/fullyvetted/2010/aug/cat_abortion#.T_5jxo7ES_t">claiming that cat abortion is not a sin</a>. Except for some brave anonymous commentators--whose <a href="http://www.salon.com/2011/03/02/palin_first_amendment/">free speech is silenced</a> by <a href="http://www.ourthursday.com/2009/05/22/cat-abortion-is-not-a-crime-update/">angry blog posts berating them on how cat abortion is not a crime</a>--there is also comparatively little outrage on this topic.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYhi__In4SNIf0wHkANKGj6P_ymy0RwRN7AutfQ8dfk32mf-rsm96kih2SXutZ26hH8QBsYxvL3L89w287DN2PTtjAMws-Kg_YpcxW7gxy1IcekO7zbEmQaEGHSgniUDP-dqihKveyhCk/s1600/Cat+abortion+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="95" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYhi__In4SNIf0wHkANKGj6P_ymy0RwRN7AutfQ8dfk32mf-rsm96kih2SXutZ26hH8QBsYxvL3L89w287DN2PTtjAMws-Kg_YpcxW7gxy1IcekO7zbEmQaEGHSgniUDP-dqihKveyhCk/s320/Cat+abortion+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
But wait! Secular liberals in elitist coastal cities tend to cohabitate with their partners, shunning marriage for unsanctified sexual intercourse (performed with [*shudder*] contraception) and preferring to own cats over siring children. It is these cats which they love so dearly which might finally bring them over to the pro-life cause. Just observe the <a href="http://blogs.phillymag.com/the_philly_post/2011/07/05/struggling-with-the-morality-of-cat-abortion/">misgivings this liberal Philadelphia journalist has on the morality of cat abortion</a>, and the great potential of this issue should be obvious. Combined with the fact that kittens are <i>even cuter</i> than human babies, the Volidity Report recommends that the Republican Party adopt the banning of cat abortion (perhaps starting with late-term cat abortion and laying the groundwork for a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanctity_of_Life_Act">Sanctity of Feline Life</a> Amendment to the Constitution) on its 2012 presidential platform. This issue could convert even the most callous Brooklyn hipster into a GOP voter, rounding out the fact that they already <a href="http://www.politifact.com/florida/statements/2012/apr/04/facebook-posts/facebook-post-claims-urban-outfitters-ceo-backs-sa/">vote GOP with their consumer dollars</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHIQ25f9AB1PD54ddSWeHFVLPxw3s4wv1masZ_CT7QWBeVDVi17ZJfkGWmWY9TAW2JU9tFKSGWwEF18THHgnE6aLen9WWeF057MtMBv6LSp4SUmCsnBTBY0tOKHhMXoyMbt9mGr-d-ptc/s1600/cat+abortion5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHIQ25f9AB1PD54ddSWeHFVLPxw3s4wv1masZ_CT7QWBeVDVi17ZJfkGWmWY9TAW2JU9tFKSGWwEF18THHgnE6aLen9WWeF057MtMBv6LSp4SUmCsnBTBY0tOKHhMXoyMbt9mGr-d-ptc/s320/cat+abortion5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The world already has a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society_for_the_Protection_of_Unborn_Children">Society for the Protection of Unborn Children</a>--it's time we founded a Society for the Protection of Unborn Kittens as well! <i>The Volidity Report is pro-(cat) life!</i>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-26611675187774615262012-06-25T23:05:00.002-04:002012-06-26T11:06:22.042-04:00Tales from the Spambots - Humanoid Twitterbots<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLeqNjyFLYj4WCAnLhg6j0TuOjtMdmuBB6RlsvX-y7Bnz1ldq9g2tyG9eRSt9B_TMGdbtLhXq8iPKfxM_hb1DFjSQxeBsLb2FzyQffBOfSz8RBucD4zRJBKDET7DusUwuRHbJc_LXcxTE/s1600/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="44" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLeqNjyFLYj4WCAnLhg6j0TuOjtMdmuBB6RlsvX-y7Bnz1ldq9g2tyG9eRSt9B_TMGdbtLhXq8iPKfxM_hb1DFjSQxeBsLb2FzyQffBOfSz8RBucD4zRJBKDET7DusUwuRHbJc_LXcxTE/s320/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Ah, the Twitters! A veritable playground of internet robots, who <a href="http://mashable.com/2009/08/06/twitter-bots/">generated 24% of all Twitter content even way back in 2009</a>. These <a href="http://www.mediabistro.com/alltwitter/are-twitter-bots-more-social-than-you_b17921">robots are constantly trolling for humans</a> with whom they might connect--to sell products, or perhaps event learn how to feel. In fact, your editor-in-chief has noticed--through <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/volidityreport">volid investigations on Twitter</a>--that the old twitterbots version 1.0 (which had obviously machine-generated profiles and would merely tweet hyperlinks at you) have been replaced by a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Variety">second variety</a>. These new bots have full profiles and tweet sentence-like messages that don't necessarily include hyperlinks to buy Nikes or Armani dresses or just incoherent nonsense. They're so much like us, and yet, something is not quite right. Let's take a look:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IOM2to43XyFIVwuumqAi8MhGabC3bq7RTactfMhYl9cdnR36yU2QLKbOs-8JtmetYFK5Dqyq-RRxdx8mWIPZ8liD-riF7ZDqK34148STXrvT4RGe_X0UzfCp4Vc8lYRorWuyFXEbU-o/s1600/GaryMichael.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IOM2to43XyFIVwuumqAi8MhGabC3bq7RTactfMhYl9cdnR36yU2QLKbOs-8JtmetYFK5Dqyq-RRxdx8mWIPZ8liD-riF7ZDqK34148STXrvT4RGe_X0UzfCp4Vc8lYRorWuyFXEbU-o/s320/GaryMichael.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Gary Michael, the infuriatingly humble explorer of Kodiak, Alaska (population: 6130) seems to be alright at first glance. We at the Volidity Report are also avowed readers, web geeks, travel nerds, and the [very proud] practitioners of alcohol.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzWkdjK6viYXNDiyrj-AZ82iM4q3vlgMqmhsiWthDefmTBhibLHaGW0H6oSDsbIr8Odl7PpQ0MozbqtRlPlKXHxjWb_AWYmQ6E3SA-lH-CN-LCVcvQHvNbVgBbEy6WOXtF0q84r6MGRlU/s1600/Richard+Clinton.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzWkdjK6viYXNDiyrj-AZ82iM4q3vlgMqmhsiWthDefmTBhibLHaGW0H6oSDsbIr8Odl7PpQ0MozbqtRlPlKXHxjWb_AWYmQ6E3SA-lH-CN-LCVcvQHvNbVgBbEy6WOXtF0q84r6MGRlU/s320/Richard+Clinton.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
We then proceed to Richard Clinton (aka "Clinton_Richard"), another Alaskan from the great city of Wasilla. Superior to the common travel nerd, Richard is a passionate travel guru. Though perhaps he was communicating by IRC as a child, "Lifelong internet specialist" makes me begin to suspect that he was born and raised on <a href="http://tron.wikia.com/wiki/Grid">The Grid</a> instead of in Wasilla...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaVTTDvtA1Aqvr2vmUYRJI7OuUu-UM-t21o_us3kqVfIDB8Yd-ziP_ZzKU9NxU0XTS9Fw7RAb1XehxTNrSyu_G1Oh7AaLvbVbKZBFsTd95fJ8SG3NB-8CFuHIJ8hAIPESd52j1q8YzsHA/s1600/MaeCheryl.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaVTTDvtA1Aqvr2vmUYRJI7OuUu-UM-t21o_us3kqVfIDB8Yd-ziP_ZzKU9NxU0XTS9Fw7RAb1XehxTNrSyu_G1Oh7AaLvbVbKZBFsTd95fJ8SG3NB-8CFuHIJ8hAIPESd52j1q8YzsHA/s320/MaeCheryl.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Yes, when I think of introverted gamers, Mrs. Mae Cheryl of Clovis, New Mexico is who comes to mind. As a "hardcore entrepreneur" (is that just a euphemism for "porn producer"???), "zombie expert", and "food ninja" Mae is a either a true renaissance woman or a robot.<br />
<br />
Perhaps the common thread with all of these profiles is a set of nouns (lover, practitioner, entrepreneur, guru, specialist, practitioner, -aholic, nerd, geek, fanatic, enthusiast, advocate) and adjectives (devoted, hardcore, unapologetic, lifelong, infuriatingly humble, wannabe) that are recombined for the verisimilitude of a profile. The random nature of this computerized Mad Libs leads to self-descriptors like "Incurable bacon scholar" and my doubts about their humanity. But if the profiles follow this pattern, then what about the tweets themselves?<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center">
Bacon buff. Musicaholic. Zombie specialist. Unapologetic travel guru. Coffee lover. Friend of animals everywhere. Award-winning food scholar<br />
— evelynsarah30 (@evelynsarah30) <a data-datetime="2012-06-23T09:59:59+00:00" href="https://twitter.com/evelynsarah30/status/216470648925589505">June 23, 2012</a></blockquote>
<script charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js">
</script>
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center">
Unapologetic twitter advocate. Wannabe thinker. Avid web enthusiast. Hipster-friendly food practitioner. Lifelong internet trailblazer.<br />
— cherylheidi55 (@cherylheidi55) <a data-datetime="2012-06-23T06:28:29+00:00" href="https://twitter.com/cherylheidi55/status/216417424210280449">June 23, 2012</a></blockquote>
<script charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js">
</script>
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center">
Twitter evangelist. Professional entrepreneur. General music enthusiast. Future teen idol.<br />
— GraceNatasha (@gracenatasha239) <a data-datetime="2012-06-25T12:23:09+00:00" href="https://twitter.com/gracenatasha239/status/217231453791068160">June 25, 2012</a></blockquote>
Oh. Well then. It's just the same formula, repeated forever. Though your editor-in-chief is fairly certain that he has met some wannabe thinkers who were also unapologetic advocates of Twitter and practitioners of hipster-friendly food in North Brooklyn, these tweets still reveal the fundamentally artificial nature of the user. Wait--you have something to say, Gary Michael?<br />
<script charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js">
</script>
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet tw-align-center">
I liked a @<a href="https://twitter.com/YouTube">YouTube</a> video from @<a href="https://twitter.com/uberhaxornova">uberhaxornova</a> <a href="http://t.co/fb4IEBo2" title="http://youtu.be/inSIwmvSFHg?a">youtu.be/inSIwmvSFHg?a</a> Minecraft: Quad Mountain Survival w/Nova Ep.46<br />
— GaryMichael (@garymichael7411) <a data-datetime="2012-06-25T06:58:46+00:00" href="https://twitter.com/garymichael7411/status/217149819540619264">June 25, 2012</a></blockquote>
Oh no! Gary "liked" a YouTube video of someone playing Minecraft via an über-haxor? We're doomed! If the machines can mimic human traits in our society, then it really will turn out like <i>Battlestar Galactica</i> or <i>Terminator</i>. Your editor-in-chief, however, is a survivor--if the machines can blend in with us, then he will blend in with the machines.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKdk7P3_T3cLydoo37JO_j72VwB8D8zLUEOEg8WNOHsB1GR7gRnREaMBEDXLvWx4X1QjSAI_wT5-b2TMbN6cihApK-d3yiKecLO0zHBTn2pCsgZo7dgR9n_cRkDhXDkp4UOs695nFEXkE/s1600/VolidityReportTwitter.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKdk7P3_T3cLydoo37JO_j72VwB8D8zLUEOEg8WNOHsB1GR7gRnREaMBEDXLvWx4X1QjSAI_wT5-b2TMbN6cihApK-d3yiKecLO0zHBTn2pCsgZo7dgR9n_cRkDhXDkp4UOs695nFEXkE/s320/VolidityReportTwitter.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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</script>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-68148026077343048372012-06-08T12:13:00.001-04:002012-06-10T01:55:46.692-04:00The Flag You Should Have: Mississippi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5VZobNx_GxxhqnBfyDA3Kr0mLVGxnF0laCCfAqH15LEsti4Fc_pQrVh0hEvwuccYMdkNbIqLWufTP_hEqD8G33Od-kkz8tG-MaD53ycGu882BLnApQ6D9n5grVR8oSWOC9kYY6uYID0U/s1600/800px-Flag_of_Mississippi.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Current Mississippi flag - adopted 1894" border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5VZobNx_GxxhqnBfyDA3Kr0mLVGxnF0laCCfAqH15LEsti4Fc_pQrVh0hEvwuccYMdkNbIqLWufTP_hEqD8G33Od-kkz8tG-MaD53ycGu882BLnApQ6D9n5grVR8oSWOC9kYY6uYID0U/s320/800px-Flag_of_Mississippi.png" title="Current Mississippi flag - adopted 1894" width="320" /></a></div>
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Mississippi: 50th in per capita GDP, 1st in obesity! But people are less aware that the state is also #1 in controversial flags (see the image above if you're wondering why there might be any controversy). You see, when the Confederate States seceded, they needed a new flag, but they settled initially for a lame imitation of the Stars and Stripes (lazily renamed to the "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stars_and_Bars#First_national_flag_.28.22the_Stars_and_Bars.22.29">Stars and Bars</a>"--real creative, guys). After much confusion on the battlefield, it was replaced with the more recognizable <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_the_Confederate_States_of_America#Battle_flag">Confederate Battle Flag</a> (also known as the "Lynyrd Skynyrd Flag"), which was incorporated into subsequent iterations of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_the_Confederate_States_of_America#Second_national_flag_.28.22the_Stainless_Banner.22.29">national flag</a>. Its design remains instantly recognizable around the world today, and--like most things--you can blame the Jews for it.<sup>1 </sup>After the Confederacy's defeat in the Civil War, the Battle Flag faded from officialdom, until its later revival.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghLylf8NzCN4ViE3J3m6EHoIXlsjPpr6o4gKLgflw-rtlL8S1EGSRJFlt_HnIANYBiBUNloWHTLHyGmyhaCWMqN3l_RXCeOakTjdIw1UCUfno5xxc2u-ZfOoeawCGA9Xi60JVqw5Plx_4/s1600/750px-Mississippi_1861.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="1861 Mississippi flag" border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghLylf8NzCN4ViE3J3m6EHoIXlsjPpr6o4gKLgflw-rtlL8S1EGSRJFlt_HnIANYBiBUNloWHTLHyGmyhaCWMqN3l_RXCeOakTjdIw1UCUfno5xxc2u-ZfOoeawCGA9Xi60JVqw5Plx_4/s320/750px-Mississippi_1861.png" title="1861 Mississippi flag" width="320" /></a></div>
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For its first official banner, Mississippi used the flag above, which it officially adopted after it seceded from the Union. The flag includes symbols associated with Mississippi and the surrounding region, including the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonnie_Blue_Flag">Bonnie Blue Flag</a> and the magnolia tree (which is the state's official flower, tree, and nickname). But then in 1894, in a very precocious expression of Confederate nostalgia adopted the flag up top with the Confederate Battle Flag. Georgia later tried to steal Mississippi's thunder, when Gov. Marvin Griffin declared "<a href="http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?navby=search&case=/data2/circs/11th/968149opa.html">the rest of the nation is looking to Georgia for the lead in segregation</a>"and the Georgia Legislature also <a href="http://sos.georgia.gov/archives/museum/html/georgia_state_flag_since_1956.htm">slapped the Battle Flag on its own state flag in 1956</a>. When Georgia caved to public pressure a scant half-century later, instead adopting by far the <a href="http://sos.georgia.gov/archives/museum/html/georgia_state_flag_since_1956.htm">worst-looking flag in North America</a>, Mississippi <a href="http://articles.cnn.com/2001-04-18/politics/mississippi.flag_1_battle-flag-confederate-emblem-mississippi-voters?_s=PM:ALLPOLITICS">voted down</a> a new <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mississippi_2001_flag_proposal.svg">Confederacy-free flag design</a> by a wide margin. Though the Volidity Report supports sticking to ones guns, perhaps Mississippi might consider adopting a new flag that would not be openly offensive to 37% of its population? We hereby present our expert solution below:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdGeOGH_7mansM7-gqiCCjuyK2W2UnmbZvKTpgB7KpVO7Dv0uLASy6ylzH8DpiUCSwCXS8hLNPKR-gB8qbuFWLr3qqT6xZx1kRRiT1SLwXflXi0_WDcW0H7KLp1XYQuCcWeFeRmT59gk/s1600/new+mississippi+flag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="new Mississippi flag from the Volidity Report" border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdGeOGH_7mansM7-gqiCCjuyK2W2UnmbZvKTpgB7KpVO7Dv0uLASy6ylzH8DpiUCSwCXS8hLNPKR-gB8qbuFWLr3qqT6xZx1kRRiT1SLwXflXi0_WDcW0H7KLp1XYQuCcWeFeRmT59gk/s320/new+mississippi+flag.jpg" title="new Mississippi flag from the Volidity Report" width="320" /></a></div>
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Ta-da! Thus, the magnolia tree and star of the Bonnie Blue Flag have been restored, while the present tricolor is retained. Sure, it might look a little <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Paraguay">Paraguay-ish</a> or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_of_Yugoslavia">Yugoslav-y</a>, but Your Editor has his doubts that the populace of Mississippi at large is even aware of the existence of these places. As symbols that are tied to Mississippi--unlike the Battle Flag--their restoration could be welcomed by all Mississippians. But don't worry, your editor has not forgotten the old, curmudgeonly racists who voted down the previous revision of the flag either; because the Bonnie Blue Flag and magnolia tree are also symbols associated with secession and the Confederacy, this flag is a tune that everyone can <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog-whistle_politics#United_States">dog-whistle</a> to!<br />
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Now who needs some vexillological racial healing next?<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">1. "Charles Moise, a self-described 'southerner of Jewish persuasion,' wrote [William] Miles and other members of the South Carolina delegation asking that 'the symbols of a particular religion' not be made the symbol of the nation. In adapting his flag to take these criticisms into account, Miles removed the palmetto tree and crescent and substituted a diagonal cross for the St. George's cross...Miles explained that the diagonal cross was preferable because 'it avoided the <i>religious</i> objection about the cross (from the Jews and many Protestant sects), because it did not stand out so <i>conspicuously</i> as if the cross had been placed upright thus.'" -<i>The Confederate Battle Flag: America's Most Embattled Emblem</i> by John M. Coski, p. 5</span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-63027383053939137312012-05-12T22:24:00.000-04:002012-06-10T02:06:43.348-04:00"We be Chrono-Thuggin" - Mobile Volidity Vol. 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7qPxDFbwXN12KJOd3019MBv0yf-wWhkX7c2fOfHQPCiDopmgJU7Uw7mjY9_uhs_drNZYkU07xNNBYGinJXa4VwNrRWl418hxb6jdtJKSH3yq7_GYpmCTcjmGuvOSaStJ43LSu78_8ERw/s1600/oldowan+stone+tools.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7qPxDFbwXN12KJOd3019MBv0yf-wWhkX7c2fOfHQPCiDopmgJU7Uw7mjY9_uhs_drNZYkU07xNNBYGinJXa4VwNrRWl418hxb6jdtJKSH3yq7_GYpmCTcjmGuvOSaStJ43LSu78_8ERw/s320/oldowan+stone+tools.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Before <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/VolidityReport">the Twitters</a>, before 'pods and 'pads and <a href="http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/PADD">PADDs</a>, there were text messages. Known forever as SMS by our European counterparts, Volid researchers only recently discovered that is actually an acronym for "Seriously Mystifying Statements" (given the kind of messages we receive on our official mobile telephones, this seems appropriate). Following up on the <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2010/06/pumpkin-clown-bemused-mobile-volidity.html">first official compendium of these messages</a>, the Volidity Report will seek to decipher these messages-in-a-bottle[-shaped phone], for our audience, this time with visual aids!</div>
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"The sandwich press has a liberal bias!"</div>
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"Where does Blade get money from anyway? He doesn’t get paid
for killing vampires, he must have a trust fund or something"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"We be Chrono-Thuggin'"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj41_5EMwR_5Gv0KskKDU-5TFmHaURLk7IdtYQhj1cy9MUuVslUtaMlc2ZDvzhod9rbS2y_dP58mf9DvonxwULD2KLwCB4TGqlwzkhKyM06T_qw3znFSaK5ynpfpIlLYXniUm78sei_Me4/s1600/chrono-thuggin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj41_5EMwR_5Gv0KskKDU-5TFmHaURLk7IdtYQhj1cy9MUuVslUtaMlc2ZDvzhod9rbS2y_dP58mf9DvonxwULD2KLwCB4TGqlwzkhKyM06T_qw3znFSaK5ynpfpIlLYXniUm78sei_Me4/s320/chrono-thuggin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>[your Editor assumed it must have referred to <a href="http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/01/obama-mars/">this incident</a>]</i></div>
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"Im Anfang war das Bier.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Und dann war die Party.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Und Mann war Froh."<o:p></o:p></div>
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"In China, Bad Father is called Distance Father!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Hey, man. Do you have a bag for the internet?"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Chosen Race, brah!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Let’s make some bumper stickers to mess with other peoples’
cars:<o:p></o:p></div>
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DRUNK DRIVING?<o:p></o:p></div>
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YEAH, ME TOO!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"TAK Tbl XO4EWb KOWKY?!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>[Ed.: For the uninformed, this is "So, you want a kitty?!" in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_Chat_Alphabet">Russian chat alphabet</a>]</i></div>
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"Fuck you, gibbon!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguvjY0KGHPBGbWJXu_kEaKJ0Ec2c0emjpjL_xZxW4BpvvL-Dbkg_k0XIMMe31cwoHO7jrIpi1xu1nMrQ4GH3EJt53LUtIEqNTuWsPlI95ATvMGlNOyUl04ufUKCPr-YtDZ3PpB9e_BXN8/s1600/FU+gibbon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguvjY0KGHPBGbWJXu_kEaKJ0Ec2c0emjpjL_xZxW4BpvvL-Dbkg_k0XIMMe31cwoHO7jrIpi1xu1nMrQ4GH3EJt53LUtIEqNTuWsPlI95ATvMGlNOyUl04ufUKCPr-YtDZ3PpB9e_BXN8/s320/FU+gibbon.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>[Ed.: To be fair, that simian's a chump]</i></div>
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"Grim were’t the ivoris scales pluck’d upon by some nu-metal
soldier drop’d in D tuning, the somber Power-chords belay the player’s true
frailties. The banal activities of a weekly shopping trip expose further
monetary woes. Oh! To get just one Nickel back for those soggy, Limp biscuits!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"SHE AINT GONA EMAIL U"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"The only difference between God and Satan is their tax
brackets…"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Jus' be like,'Yo gir', looks like yo' pussy needs some
Ape-lovin' and I be the bouncin'est, hoppin'est, dancin'est gorilla in town!'"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Snort God’s 9/11 Fajita"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"'NAILED IT!' –JESUS"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Nature's silent killer (the wolf)"</div>
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"Nationalize <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldowan">Oldowan</a> stone tool industry!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7qPxDFbwXN12KJOd3019MBv0yf-wWhkX7c2fOfHQPCiDopmgJU7Uw7mjY9_uhs_drNZYkU07xNNBYGinJXa4VwNrRWl418hxb6jdtJKSH3yq7_GYpmCTcjmGuvOSaStJ43LSu78_8ERw/s1600/oldowan+stone+tools.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7qPxDFbwXN12KJOd3019MBv0yf-wWhkX7c2fOfHQPCiDopmgJU7Uw7mjY9_uhs_drNZYkU07xNNBYGinJXa4VwNrRWl418hxb6jdtJKSH3yq7_GYpmCTcjmGuvOSaStJ43LSu78_8ERw/s320/oldowan+stone+tools.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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"The new self-help book, 'How to Be a Human,' available now from Volidity Report Press (only $19.95 - $24.95 Canadian)."<o:p></o:p></div>
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"'If we was in a utopian society and you said its
defunittly gonna happen, and titles were to be done away with, howd we know
what we wanted from da video store?'"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Only rent da videos wit sexxxy babes or dinosaurs on the
cover"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Quit Stalin, Jamaica Me Crazy!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"I see my place in american waste, faced with pizzas I
can't taste! American waste, american waste, on my own I eat toothpaste!"<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Tryin' to program the new remote. Sorny? Magnetbox?
Move over for actual crap tv brands: Broksonic, Konka, Humax, Grunpy,
Telefunken, Nad, Yupiteru, & Optonica."<o:p></o:p></div>
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"I'd purchase a Grunpy confuter any day of the week."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcUoyrjjZLdJTc2BuyE9o-6tKQ2Fb5suwjKdMYhsj-ieWyHky2CHD0UJmJwlGJWn-qrORYMZp3bjDrnwJ824dkYlHyDGKHD2atDvPuXR09CshA8fk45CN6ftyHgpZTGdIUn9ka009Wco/s1600/grunpy+confuter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcUoyrjjZLdJTc2BuyE9o-6tKQ2Fb5suwjKdMYhsj-ieWyHky2CHD0UJmJwlGJWn-qrORYMZp3bjDrnwJ824dkYlHyDGKHD2atDvPuXR09CshA8fk45CN6ftyHgpZTGdIUn9ka009Wco/s320/grunpy+confuter.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, did we all learn something in class today? Oh, you wanted it in PowerPoint format, like the <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2010/10/volid-review-fantasy-mission-force_12.html">last lesson</a> given by our fine publication? Well, whatever! We're just painting the picture here--it's up to you to interpret. Speaking of:</div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"No one shall question a few good men, especially a few
good paintin' men! Well, maybe a few questions, but sexy questions for
sure!"</blockquote>
<o:p></o:p></div>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-31291836748131907942012-04-20T10:33:00.001-04:002012-04-20T10:33:16.967-04:00Cooking with Volidity: The Governor's Family Bowl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyU0jtRf9UeKD5bckqfM1QurnvOY4K_v_PF1LZDKGVlR7grrojyiloTS7r-zimeHDcpbjQIJVTXRPbh0dZGY26M8DZ1uYLotO8LMKCUd00PTu4_VY2IW2QO_AxAz56JTid6BMxcYeQv0s/s1600/P1000680.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyU0jtRf9UeKD5bckqfM1QurnvOY4K_v_PF1LZDKGVlR7grrojyiloTS7r-zimeHDcpbjQIJVTXRPbh0dZGY26M8DZ1uYLotO8LMKCUd00PTu4_VY2IW2QO_AxAz56JTid6BMxcYeQv0s/s320/P1000680.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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We've all heard of Colonel Sanders' Famous Bowl™--and why not? It's famous! Sure, you might say, the Famous Bowl was introduced in 2006 and Sanders had already been dead for 26 years. Also, you may note that this dish happens to be <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/av-club-taste-test-special-the-bowl-at-the-howling,2130/">regarded as a rather poor experience by some</a>. But where Patton Oswalt sees a "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfan5MacmsI">failure pile in a sadness bowl</a>" the Volidity Report saw its potential as a communal centerpiece around which Your Editor's flatmates could gather and feast. Naturally, all of the usual rules would apply, and a <i>friturier</i>, <i>saucier</i>, and <i>entremetier</i>--among others--would have to be recruited, since this constitutes a multi-course meal all in one bowl.</div>
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<ul>
<li>Homemade chicken stock (NY)</li>
<li>All-natural chicken (PA)</li>
<li>Homemade butter (ME)</li>
<li>Cheddar cheese (NY)</li>
<li>Organic sage white cheddar cheese (VT)</li>
<li>Organic grass-fed milk (NY)</li>
<li>Organic buttermilk (WI)</li>
<li>Organic heavy cream (WI)</li>
<li>Organic corn (WA)</li>
<li>Organic potatoes (CO)</li>
<li>Gluten-free chicken coating (LA)</li>
<li>Gluten-free flour (USA)</li>
<li>All-natural peanut oil (USA)</li>
</ul>
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KFC's gravy is legend (<a href="http://drkronner.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/gravy-pool.jpg">it's even good enough to swim in!</a>), so we whipped up some volidigravy from local homemade chicken stock. Because the only thing better than homemade is double-homemade.<br />
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Potatoes were mashed together with every dairy product we could muster: butter, milk, buttermilk, and heavy cream.</div>
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Chicken that had been popcornified and soaked in buttermilk was fried in peanut oil.</div>
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With the ingredients assembled (mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, chicken, and shredded cheese), it was time to heap them all in a bowl.<br />
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You see--instead of a "failure pile in a sadness bowl" we have achieved a "family pile in a joyous bowl." Forget The Colonel's Famous Bowl, it's actually all about <b><a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2011/08/morgantown-secedes-brooklyn-in-crisis.html">The Governor</a>'s Family Bowl</b>!Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-12440770752561613412012-04-16T22:24:00.010-04:002012-04-17T12:02:31.466-04:00Fictionary Supplement: Part 3 - Misfits and Ne'er-do-wells<b>Vito Burrito</b><br />
Ever since Vito Bruzzini was born in the neighborhood of Boroughhurstburg Village in Brooklyn, he had trouble fitting in. A member of a family peripherally affiliated with the docks and much respected in Bo-Vill, from an early age Vito just couldn't quite live up to his brothers: Marsalo, Piccato, and Francese. His brothers, cousins, and cousins once removed would roughhouse in the streets and alleys by day and then return home for a big dinner festooned with enough red sauce to please red-blooded young boys. But Vito chose a different path; he would wander off by himself, sampling some of the strange, unbreaded, pasta- and mozzarella-free fare available in his Outer Borough. Because of his rotund shape--reminiscent of chicken rollatini or another irregular polyhedron--and because of his particular preference for the food of "<a href="http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messico">Messico</a>," he was given the nickname Vito Burrito.<br />
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As time passed, Vito remained ever the odd corn tortilla in a wheat world. Hoping to set off and make something for himself, Vito enrolled in the University of Phoenix, only to find that it took him no further than the dial-up connection in his parents' basement. When his brothers formally joined la famiglia, Vito only managed to get himself a job at Famous Famiglia Pizza. Needless to say, Vito found himself in a rut; when an "associate" of his father's had a horse's head placed in his futon, the young fellow took it as a sign. The next day he made for the racetrack in Ozone Park, confident that he would make the family proud. Last I heard, he won $30 on Mumbly Jake!<br />
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<b>Nik Nickelback</b><br />
Nikonar Nikolaevich Nikelbakh, known as Nik Nickelback to his friends, was born in a small town in Western Pennsylvania. The town was like most any other, except for its ongoing bat problem (see Fictionary Supplement Addendum, under “1987, Suckening of”). Ah well.<br />
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Nik was born to Dick and Wendy Nikelbakh, a Scotch-Irish couple prone to buying insurance and Presbyterianism. Nik was raised as one of their own, but was never much like his old man and his lady. He preferred electric guitars to hedge-clippers, and sports cars to lawn mowers!<br />
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After a fight with his pops, Nik totally split town man, and headed for Ronny’s house to crash there for a while, or at least till he could figure shit out. Ronnie was cool with it, but he was totally bogarting all his smokes and wouldn’t share them or nothing. Like, his brother totally sends him cases of them when he’s in Canada for like two bucks, and he can’t even share with his oldest bro? Whatever man. Well, this lifestyle went on for some time, until finally he ran out of dough, and had to trundle back home.<br />
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<b>Health Insurance Po</b><br />
Po was a nasty man, a mean bad man!! He was a con artist, and a thief, setting up false butcheries and chicaneries and disrupting society with his lack of dedication and unscrupulous behavior. Two or three concerned citizens reported to have entered his shops to purchase live animals to feed their hungry families, only to find a sight most foul. Po would be holding a live bird with two hands around its neck, strangling the poor animal in a flurry of squawks and chirps! All Chinese citizens know that choking chickens is immoral, and is strictly forbidden by Chinese law.<br />
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After the brave villagers performed their duty of reporting Po to the proper authorities, they were generously rewarded with a new dam which would flood their town with both water and electricity!<br />
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Po himself was brought in for questioning, and it was decided that his efforts could be better directed elsewhere. A recent Chinese security detail reported that the country was still exposed and in danger in cyberspace, on the imperialist Western Web around the world. Fearing espionage from the West, the Province Governor, Chu Wi, suggested to the government that dissenters and rabblerousers be rounded up and employed as Internet spies. Transferred into binary code (1’s only), these men could regain some of their honor by combating foreign corrupters of Chinese society.<br />
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<a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/2010/02/ultimate-personals-ad.html?showComment=1266458732433#c518956954052647476">As a bot</a>, Po has taken on an American name to blend into the web society and begin fruitful conversations with foreign citizens, through electronic mail. A recent progress report indicated that this program has been a great success, and a testament to the strength and character of the Chinese people.<br />
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<b>LaBronx James</b><br />
The year was 1972 and young LaBronx James was fostered far to the North of New York City in the Projects. Life on the streets was hard, especially when your biological father was never around to play catch and ball. He was usually in prison, or somewhere else driving around. LaBronx was named for the apostle of the same name, but he was far from a saint. Who can blame him for his rough and tumble beginnings? The lad's primary activities included jax, ballin', and a game called "Pigeon-Hoops" which, although enjoying a brief period of popularity, is no longer considered fun.<br />
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The boy grew older, as many do, and attended the local school where he and his
brothers and neighbors also went. It was in the neighborhood, and there was no real choice in the matter. He attended chemistry and math classes, but his favorite was History with Turkowitz. Mr. Turkowitz knew how to make learning fun, and taught his students to believe in themselves so they could achieve anything. However, LaBronx was home sick that day with the sniffles, and so continued to believe in being second or even third-best. That's where he got his nickname, LaBronze, which is familiar to everyone today.<br />
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Special Thanks to editor <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586">Herrence Meritocracy</a> for the story of Vito Burrito.
</div>LK Shovhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17518611438468637214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-35320810884895911982012-03-05T11:11:00.000-05:002012-03-05T11:13:12.157-05:00Cooking with Volidity: Elite-zza BagelsExcept for Native Americans like Pocahontas and the Pilgrims, the United States of America is a nation of immigrants, and no city reflects that more than New York City. As a New York-based outlet of the East Coast lamestream media, the Volidity Report publishes cultural stories of local interest, to appeal to its constituents (especially those of means). A quick search of the internets reveals that second (2nd) most reported ethnicity in NYC is Italian while the Jewish community in the Greater New York Metropolitan area is larger than anywhere else in the world outside Israel. Both of these groups arrived in large numbers in the late 19th century and settled in close proximity to one another in Manhattan (in Little Italy and the Lower East Side respectively), Brooklyn, and the Bronx. In tribute to this cultural melting pot, the Volidity Report resolved to make an appropriate dish of melted goodness, and arrived of course at that great staple, the <b>pizza bagel</b>.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Thus did your Editor-in-Chief seek out notable local <a href="http://pizza-bagel.urbanup.com/1568123">Pizza Bagel</a> "<a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/sarah_gave_up">just another Sarah</a>" (part of a <a href="http://www.amiannoyingornot.com/%28S%28haohvcz1jhrm1gin0h30ge45%29%29/collection.aspx?collection=5007">distinguished community of Pizza Bagels</a>) in order to execute this with the same high level of quality as previous editions of <a href="http://volidity-report.blogspot.com/search/label/cooking%20with%20volidity">Cooking with Volidity</a>. Fresh local ingredients were sourced from farmers markets and co-ops across the city:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Bagel Dough</li>
<ul>
<li>Organic bread flour (VT)</li>
<li>Organic cane sugar (FL)</li>
<li>Kosher salt (MN)</li>
<li>Active dry yeast (WI)</li>
</ul>
<li>Sauce</li>
<ul>
<li>Organic tomatoes (NY)</li>
<li>Organic onions (NY)</li>
<li>Organic garlic (NY)</li>
<li>Organic butter (NY)</li>
<li>Fresh organic oregano (NY)</li>
<li>White wine (CA)</li>
</ul>
<li>Toppings</li>
<ul>
<li>Fresh mozzarella (NY)</li>
<li>Homemade ricotta (NY)</li>
<li>All-natural <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coppa">coppa</a> ham (NY)</li>
</ul>
</ul>
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Pizza bagel preparation is a three-step process. First, the dough has to be mixed and then is savagely beaten until it submits to be shaped as we please<br />
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The tomatoes are blanched, have their skin removed and are combined with the sauteed onions and garlic and simmered to make the tomato sauce</div>
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The dough is then shaped into round bagels (or--for the less orthodox--spirals), boiled and then baked</div>
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The toppings are arranged for maximum personalization of pizza bagels</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH0U-e320paFbVuwI8yQfi7Zs-mlVPEWbltuOpLwPxSBA01CqrG4ZasP-CBg0J_dWGLWP-YhSex_7y3dwiruBJgIWv0-9VXjqCKnv2hnlhgQdcUjSb8u6RihDfgSmVrAoj-9xNllEh1Hk/s1600/P1000549.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH0U-e320paFbVuwI8yQfi7Zs-mlVPEWbltuOpLwPxSBA01CqrG4ZasP-CBg0J_dWGLWP-YhSex_7y3dwiruBJgIWv0-9VXjqCKnv2hnlhgQdcUjSb8u6RihDfgSmVrAoj-9xNllEh1Hk/s320/P1000549.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And after a quick stop back in the over--presto: pizza bagels! It is worth noting that the gourmet experience achieved in this endeavor is reflective of the present day Italian- and Jewish-American populations, who have risen from working class tenement districts to become firmly ensconced in the middle class. Because of this, the Volidity Report is proud to call these delicious dishes "<b>Elite-zza Bagels</b>." Demonstrating the exclusive nature of Elite-zza Bagels, this <a href="http://niceboygoodfamily.tumblr.com/">Nice Boy from a Good Family</a> shows off his creation below:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqVxh6XY5Z3xXu95ZOlr4GhMEw2KhDCEUB_pGqgqQEpetc_Jwft2ajuClrUG6CWpcgLx0MaqwiRzDwCkx2jwTqj4xR7K5brU9qZM-jxF3ktmLEJAIWCd_LWl1-4zPphhDFgo2lPeVR2_I/s1600/P1000553.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqVxh6XY5Z3xXu95ZOlr4GhMEw2KhDCEUB_pGqgqQEpetc_Jwft2ajuClrUG6CWpcgLx0MaqwiRzDwCkx2jwTqj4xR7K5brU9qZM-jxF3ktmLEJAIWCd_LWl1-4zPphhDFgo2lPeVR2_I/s320/P1000553.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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Look to the Volidity Report for the next in cultural cross-over cuisine! Will it be kimchi tacos or bánh mì? Only time--and the proper seasonal conditions and farmers market stipend--will tell...Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-31925002877519420412012-01-06T13:01:00.000-05:002012-06-25T00:52:02.341-04:00Tales from the Spambots - Top Secret Tech Nazis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTTna5febLTh-zYmWD08qPdehq3HFtseenWe2Jwg36SR9tSdEDKYbeWhahdmi4Bv8NfTHn3p5wH6y5F4hrCjK_NUHmvqopUbnQSSqvmDbhExgPHa5w3NwleuU1gOl06qA4Psr2fBuj6TM/s1600/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="44" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTTna5febLTh-zYmWD08qPdehq3HFtseenWe2Jwg36SR9tSdEDKYbeWhahdmi4Bv8NfTHn3p5wH6y5F4hrCjK_NUHmvqopUbnQSSqvmDbhExgPHa5w3NwleuU1gOl06qA4Psr2fBuj6TM/s320/TALES+FROM+THE+SPAMBOTS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span">Nazis. They're everywhere! <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120611/">Just like vampires</a>! Thankfully, as with vampires, there are also <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_hunter">Nazi hunters</a>. For decades, these Van Helsings of Israel pursued their targets across the world to exotic locations like Argentina and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bo%C4%BCeslavs_Maikovskis">Long Island</a>. Many of these war criminals were discovered, repatriated, and tried, but some escaped. Some might argue, "wasn't World War II like a million years ago?" and that these semi-mythical creatures no longer exist. But they are naïve! A hot tip came in to the Volidity Report with some startling information:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
----- Original Message -----<br />
From: Edmund Justice<br />
Sent: 12/26/11 02:44 PM<br />
To: ctc-tribletter@tribune.com, letters@courant.com, Letters@globeandmail.com, eletters@starledger.com, editor@tucsonsentinel.com<br />
Subject: Top Secret: Microsoft's co-founder Paul Alan old evil Nazi war criminal<br />
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Top Secret<br />
Microsoft's co-founder Paul Alan was an old evil Nazi war criminal who supported Hitler and the Nazis rise to power but after the war lived in disguise for many years, pretended to be a high school student, and rose to enormous business success and financial wealth as co-founder of Microsoft. He is a member of a very old secret society, and is reputed to have conspired to further the ideologies of the old Nazis in various ways in our world.<br />
Edmund Justice</blockquote>
We've all heard the tale of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Allen">Paul "Alan" Allen</a>, co-founder of Microsoft--the brilliant partner of Bill Gates, who dropped out of college to revolutionize the computer software industry. But this disturbing report indicates that he's even worse than <a href="http://newamericamedia.org/2011/10/steve-jobs-was-an-arab-american.php">secret Arab Steve Jobs</a>--he dropped out of college in America because he had already been to college--<i>Nazi college</i>. And his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Allen#Spacecraft">support for space travel</a> is probably just an extension of the <a href="http://www.ironsky.net/site/">National Socialist dream of conquering space</a>. We're on to you, "Paulus Allenstein," and there's no chance now that you will escape [Edmund] justice!<br />
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Look to the Volidity Report for essays on the future war crimes trial of Paul Allen under the title <i>Allen in Redmond.</i>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8145071453165450501.post-51762565798478812062011-12-29T20:24:00.000-05:002011-12-30T14:27:29.816-05:00Top Ten "Top 10" of 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Your Editors at the Volidity Report are <a href="http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-am-aware-of-all-internet-traditions">aware of all internet traditions</a>, and because it is the Holiday Season, we would like to share one with you, our dedicated readers. As the Gregorian calendar year comes to a close, bloggers are reminded of their own transitory vocations and mortal lives and thus are compelled to review the previous 365 days through a variety of means. The most prominent and user-friendly of these is the “Top 10” list. Whether it is comprised of films, music albums, books, or hex-based wargames, these lists quickly summarize the media that one should have consumed before the calendar shifts again. But these lists are so versatile that they allow for any type of information to be easily collated and processed. Thus, the Volidity Report presents to you our summation of the best lists out there on the Internets—our “<b>Top Ten ‘Top 10’ of 2011</b>”:<br />
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10) <b><a href="http://www.cnanalyst.com/2011/12/top-10-fastest-growing-food-stocks-gmcr-cbd-smbl-tfm-peet-dmnd-wfm-lnce-unfi-cent-dec-21-2011-.html">Top 10 Fastest Growing Food Stocks</a></b>:
“Coffee and tea”, “organic”, “fair trade” and “EPS growth” were the phrases to remember when investing in food industries this year.<br />
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9) <b><a href="http://www.jpost.com/JewishWorld/JewishNews/Article.aspx?ID=250215&R=R1">Top 10 2011 issues affecting Jews</a></b>:
Social media websites have "remained one of the biggest bastions for spreading anti-Semitism and hate speech." <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">[lucky the Volidity Report tends to be rather anti-social, am I right? -<a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586">Ed.</a>]</span></i><br />
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8) <b><a href="http://loudwire.com/top-metal-albums-2011/">Top 10 Metal Albums of 2011</a></b>:
"Bands featured in this list such as Mastodon, Megadeth and Anthrax continued to live up to their names with their next album in a series of continuously solid material, while others seemed to come out of nowhere with brain-melting surprise hits."<br />
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7) <b><a href="http://www2.tricities.com/news/2011/dec/21/coast-guard-releases-top-10-videos-2011-announces--ar-1559700/">Top 10 Coast Guard Videos</a></b>:
Did you know that a sailboat can become “disabled”? (the sail could tear or the jib line could snap, but I would *still* categorize that sailboat as “differently abled”) If so, the Coast Guard will rescue you in one of several dramatic videos available here!<br />
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6) <b><a href="http://www.ecorazzi.com/2011/12/23/top-10-celebrity-vegan-moments-of-2011/">Top 10 Celebrity Vegan Moments of 2011</a></b>:
Perhaps you have had your own “vegan moment” in 2011? No one cares! Become a celebrity and then in 2011 you can tell us how you survived on “kale and dust” and correct people by noting that veganism “doesn’t suck,” like President Clinton.<br />
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5) <b><a href="http://mtvk.com/2011/02/24/top-10-k-pop-leaders/">Top 10 K-Pop Leaders</a></b>:
"Yes, Doo Joon’s the leader of one of the hottest boy bands around but when it comes to failing, he’s almost as bad as SHINee’s Onew. What is it with all of these clumsy leaders?"<br />
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4) <b><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-lee/top-women-of-2011_b_1160790.html">Top Women of 2011</a></b>:
The best ways to become a Top Woman in 2011 were to be elected to office, die, or <a href="http://wonkette.com/427064/clarence-thomas-wife-leaves-creepy-voicemail-for-anita-hill">receive a creepy phone call that reopens your decades old sexual harassment case</a>. Also, don't be foreign, unless you're planning on winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Good luck in 2012, ladies!<br />
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3) <b><a href="http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/news/regions/asia-pacific/kim-jong-il-top-10-weird-facts-about-north-koreas-late-leader">Kim Jong Il: Top 10 Weird Facts about N Korea's Late Leader</a></b>:
"German media reported in 2007 that Kim hoped to solve the famine in his country by breeding giant rabbits."<br />
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2) <b><a href="http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/africa/111216/top-10-animal-stories-2011">Top 10 Greatest Animal Stories of 2011</a></b>:
"Amazing images of a rhino flying through the air. Upside down!"<br />
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1) <b><a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2011/12/the-most-important-graphs-of-2011/250240/">The Most Important Graphs of 2011</a></b>:
If I’ve learned anything from the Internets, it’s that the world needs more infographics. <i>The Atlantic</i> may not have been the <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/pareene/status/149603424290344960/">first to propose this</a>, but they are certainly the most comprehensive. These diagrams may be disparate and even contradictory, but you should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the pleasant hues of the pie charts. Mmm, pie…<br />
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Now wasn’t that educational? 2011 has been evaluated.
(and in a way so much more useful than an article that reminds us how we could also term the year, “<a href="http://www.salon.com/2011/12/28/harold_campings_very_bad_year/">2011: The Year the World Didn’t End</a>”). See you in December 2012, unless the Mayans and Roland Emmerich are right!<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">№ 1, 4, 6, 7, & 10 suggested by <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586">Herrence Meritocracy</a> and № 2, 3, 5, 8 & 9 suggested by <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/17518611438468637214">LK Shov</a>. All methodologies scientific.</span>Herrencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15199946568246128586noreply@blogger.com0