Cooking with Volidity: The Organic, Local Double Down

Living in the major urban center and global city that is New York City, one encounters two seemingly diametrically opposed food cultures: one is of the foodies and locavores, who cherish organic small-scale farming and elect to eat bucketfull after bucketfull of baked kale; the other is centered on industrial food production and the frying of corn, chicken, and the like, then eating them for low prices at odd hours of the night, from a KFC (both Kennedy and Kentucky Fried Chicken, of course). Your Editor-in-Chief here at the Volidity Report has decided he would do his darndest to unite these factions, despite his steadfast position as a Chick-Fil-A conservative. Naturally, I wanted to get to the heat of the meat, as I believe the young folks say. My investigation led me to the food item depicted in the video below:

Yes, the Double Down; because of man's insatiable desire for chicken and his tendency toward efficiency, the superfluous bun has been eliminated in favor of fully actualized poultry potential. And it's not even the unhealthiest fast food sandwich ever, maybe! But how to appeal to the locavore organic crowd—who scoffed at this "sandwich" when it first emerged—and solve this "omnivore's dilemma"? Thus I took the advice of the advertisement above and proceeded to "unthink" the Double Down—and reconceive it as a foodie dish created from local, organic ingredients!

Though I initially tried to source all of the ingredients from one of New York's farmers markets, this epiphany came fairly late on a Sunday afternoon. Thus, I was forced instead to trek to the Mecca of lazy foodies, the Whole Foods Market.

The ingredients (and their origins):
  • Organic free-range chicken (NY)
  • All-natural dry-rubbed salt -cured bacon (NJ)
  • Organic cage-free eggs (MA)
  • Organic pepper jack cheese (NY)
  • Organic cheddar cheese (VT)
  • Organic panko bread crumbs (CA)
  • All-natural black pepper (WI)
  • All-natural sea salt (Italy [whoops!])
These ingredients were then prepared together by Your Chef-in-Chief-Editor-in-Chief:

A labor of love for this friturier!

The paper towels above are made from 100% recycled paper, too!

See, even the proportions are those that one would find at a fine dining establishment.

Your Editor-in-Chief preparing to indulge in this cultural fusion cuisine.

Associate Editor LK Shov gives the Local, Organic Double Down (LODD, for short) the taste test.
In conclusion, a most delicious and volid time was had by all!
And, of course, we at The Volidity Report will gladly accept any further suggestions from you, dear reader, of deindustrialized fast food or haute street cart cuisine...


  1. Apparently, scientists say, that all the organic healthiness makes your hands and forearms grow to very healthy sizes indeed.

  2. Also, these were really good. Next up: Organic Chicken Nugz Sliderzzzz with Local Dippin Sauce!!!