Cooking with Volidity - Prehistoric Heritage Chicken Nuggets

Rarely is the question asked, is our young adults learning? In New York City, this is a particularly pointed problem, considering the vast hordes of 20-something year old hipsters who inhabit the borough of Brooklyn. These hipsters don't want to grow up and be adults, even in the face of becoming parents themselves. Our hipster youth is thus infantilized, becoming "kidults" who only act for the sake of youthful nostalgia--e.g. ignoring the 2012 U.S. presidential election until Big Bird was threatened by Willard "Mittens" Romney. How do we reach these young people to teach them about science?

Why, through comfort food, of course! Since foodies are the new hipsters, and hipsters have a propensity to shell out half their income for fine cuisine, Your Editor-in-Chief at the Volidity Report decided to supplement a field trip to the American Museum of Natural History organized by BoxySean with an educational meal.

After some close encounters with dinosaurs, your Editor-in-Chief decided to reinforce these lessons with some homemade dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, the ultimate childhood treat. Following a trip to a local hipster butcher, where ground meat from a Quebecois heritage breed chicken (we believe she might have been named Céleste) was procured, I also resolved to make these nuggets gluten-free, so that No Manchild Is Left Behind.

  • Ground heritage chicken meat (QC)
  • Gluten-free bread-crumbs (MA)
  • Gluten-free rolled oats (OR)
  • Parmesan cheese (NY)
  • Granulated garlic powder (WI)
  • Paprika (Hungary)
The oats were ground up into a fine powder, then mixed into the ground chicken to give it some substance along with the garlic and paprika, for flavorizing.

Then the meat was shaped into three species of dinosaur with the aid of some cookie cutters: Stegosaurus stenops, Barosaurus lentus, and Tyrannosaurus rex. Each "terrible lizard" was then dunked into a mixture of gluten-free breadcrumbs and shredded parmesan, and arranged on a tray.

Despite the Volidity Report's orientation as pro-frying (for confirmation, see this, this, or this), these dino-nuggets were placed in the oven in order to provide maximum healthiness for kidults, and to reflect the higher atmospheric temperatures of the Mesozoic Era.

And thus we have a full diorama of Tyrannosaurus, as it was in the late Cretaceous, with leafy ferns and the many fallen tree trunks that would form the oil shale we know and love today. But wait, what is that spherical object by the Tyrannosaur's head? Could it be an asteroid???

Well, we suppose even good meals will go extinct! (just as all kidults must eventually grow up--we *hope*)

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