Religious Rage

MUSLIM RAGE! It's all the rage right now, with protests sweeping across the Arab/Muslim/brown people world followed by important trend pieces to describe them. A single magazine cover has since begat a bevy of poignant images on this MUSLIM RAGE. But are the liberal media once again glazing over the issue, and not asking the hard questions? Are there other religions with even more primal rage on display? The Volidity Report investigates further in a series it hopes Newsweek will eventually publish. We've even made the covers for them!

Buddhist monks may often be silent, but this only makes them silent but deadly. This silent rage has been shown to be quite dangerous in film, and we should all be concerned as Buddhism has grown to be one of the largest religions in the United States in recent years.

Ah yes, the Zoroastrians. Anyone that worships in a fire temple should automatically be suspect, as they can be quite difficult to traverse and filled with dangerous monsters. Their obsession with fire betrays their burning rage, which bubbles just under the surface at all times.

Mennonites--they may seem nice, but who really knows what they're thinking behind those beards and under those headscarves. Perhaps they are bottling up rage and resentment from years of being mistaken for the Amish or from not getting to go on rumspringa. Who knows? All we know is that they are not to be trusted.

Druids. THEY'RE BACK! And filled with rage at their suppression by the Roman Empire. Britons should be terrified as every solstice these zealots gather in greater numbers, asserting themselves on their ancient patrimony.

Is *every* religion consumed by rage right now? Is their no solace for us? Perhaps we can find in atheism a calm and contented demographic? ...Nope! Looks like Newsweek has already examined the "angry atheist" as well. I guess we're all just screwed!

This has been a Volidity Report Special Report™