- A project for forming a band and recording songs is assigned in Mrs. Wilkens' music class.
- The band Dog Handjob is formed by three filler kids.
- They have some really cool ideas for songs, like dogs, and movies!
- A certain Patty Sanders—who is either a shalimar or a slut, depending on who you ask—forms the key component of a love quadrilateral (or maybe she is the area of the love triangle, which would totally be isoceles).
- Their hopes for getting at least a B diminish, which sucks because report card time is coming up...
(if it's a B or above, you should definitely write in to Mrs. Wilkens!)