10.15.2009

The Fictionary

The Fictionary*
Comprehensive 1st Edition
“New slang for every boy and girl!”



barrogant: IPA: /bærəgənt/
Adjective
1. An abbreviation for “barely arrogant.”
“The first sign of egotism is barrogance.”

breeze: IPA: /briːz/
Noun
1. (informal) An abbreviation for "beer freeze" (a frozen dish made from beer with the consistency of Italian ice).
“Get your spoons out kids—I accidentally left another beer in the freezer so there’s enough breeze for everyone!”

effigeous: IPA: /ɛfəgiəs/
Adjective
1. Having assumed a false persona, often involving an air of self-importance or other ostentatious qualities.
2. More generally pretentious, especially in an eccentric manner.
“Every time Herrence drinks he becomes rather effigeous, leading others to believe he is a British aristocrat or some other sort of European eccentric.”

exquibulary: IPA: /ɛkskwɪbjʊlæri/
Adjective
1. Exceptionally good; of the highest quality.
“You did an exquibulary job on that last Tetris game—over 500,000 points!”

fartitude: IPA: /‘fɑːtɪtjuːd/
Adjective
1. A willingness to allow audible flatulence, even in the company of others.
“Yeah, Tibor’s got fartitude alright—he just lets them rip!”

filler kid: IPA: /fɪlər kɪd/
Noun
1. A thoroughly unexceptional and conventional person.
2. (slang) Someone uninteresting, a type often met at parties.
“Drinking poor quality beer, talking only on the shallowest of subjects, and wearing non-descript polos or t-shirts with clichéd slogans—it looks like filler kids to me...”

Florida cold: IPA: /’flɔɹɪdə koʊld/
Adjective
1. Temperatures that are perceived as cold by any longtime resident of Florida, however mild they might be to inhabitants of temperate climes.
“After living in Tampa Bay for a while, when it gets to be under 70°F, the time comes to bundle up against the Florida cold.”

grand theft nug: IPA: /ɡɹænd θɛft ‘nʌɡ/
Noun
1. The act of stealing a significant quantity of marijuana.
“Dude, it was grand theft nug—he took my whole stash!”

hangry: IPA: /hæŋ.gri/
Adjective
1. Simultaneously angry and hungry; oftentimes anger resulting from hunger.
“Man, after no free lunch at a daylong conference I’m getting pretty hangry!”

Latviangliski: IPA: /lætviənglɪski/
Proper Noun
1. A Latvian-English language pidgin, a portmanteau of “Latvian” and “angliski.”
“You’re speaking Latviangliski again: you don’t need ‘a santechnics man for remont,’ what you actually need is ‘a plumber to repair something.’”

metro ho: IPA: /’mɛtɹəʊ hoʊ/
Noun
1. A young woman traveling on a subway system who is typically inebriated, scantily clad—often in a short dress or miniskirt and high-heeled shoes—and often willing to engage in public displays of affection while on board.
“The last train of the night is always remarkable for its abundance of metro hos, who are unable either to keep balance or keep their hands and lips to themselves.”

M.I.R.T.: IPA: /mɝt/
Noun
1. (pathology) An abbreviation for “Multiple Independent Rat Tails,” a condition experienced by curly-haired individuals when not showering regularly; specific curls begin to extend and twist in various directions.
“I didn’t have the opportunity to shower today and as such I’m suffering from a rather serious case of M.I.R.T.”

9/11 kid: IPA: /naɪn əlɛvən kɪd/
Noun
1. An individual, often an adolescent, who was highly influenced by the September 11th terrorist attacks despite no direct connections and generally a large degree of geographic separation. He (more rarely she) exchanged political indifference for jingoistic opinions through that experience and expresses them publically and frequently.
“Uh-oh, he’s wearing a ‘Freedom isn’t Free’ t-shirt and an FDNY cap—looks like a 9/11 kid to me…”

peach-muncher: IPA: /piːʧ-mʌnʧɚ/
Noun
1. (mildly vulgar) Derogatory term for a person from the State of Georgia.
“And there I was on Interstate 75 near Valdosta going 2 mph above the speed limit when some local peach-muncher of a cop stops and tickets me.”

pet-o-phile: IPA: /pɛtofaɪl/
Noun
1. A pet lover; pet enthusiast.
“Yeah, he owns two dogs and a cat; he sure is a pet-o-phile…”

pizza shoe: IPA: /piːtsə ʃuː/
Noun
1. (informal) A bad or disliked thing.
2. (informal, mildly vulgar) A despicable person.
“Now listen here you goddamn pizza shoe!”

shalimar: IPA: /ʃælɪɑɻ/
Noun
1. An attractive but overly haughty or stuck-up woman.
“I just tried to give her a simple compliment, but she was such a shalimar that she didn’t even acknowledge me at all.”

shittyshaman: IPA: /ʃɪti‘ʃɑː.mən/
Adjective
1. Of poor quality.
2. Demonstrating distinct lack of skill.
See also: Anaconda (film)
“‘The totem is shittyshaman.’
‘The haiku is also the shittyshaman.’”


spermanent: IPA: /spɜː(r)mənɛnt/
Adjective
1. Referring to an accidental conception that is carried through by the mother.
“Well, initially there was much debate over what to do next, but that broken condom has led to our now spermanent little boy.”

tall: IPA: /tɔːl/
Verb
1. (slang) To drink a large amount of fluid (especially of alcohol) in a single action.
“Are you just going to sit there and stare at your beer, or are you going to tall ‘dat?”

truemor: IPA: /tɹuː.mɚ/
Noun
1. A salacious but true rumor.
“Politicians are often surrounded by gossip on their personal lives, but you’d be surprised how many truemors are contained within that idle talk.”

volid: IPA: /vəʊlɪd/
Adjective
1. Sarcastic or ironic taken ad absurdum; most commonly refers to snarky conversation or banter.
“That’s enough talk about the ‘dangerous’ and ‘related’ ideologies of liberalism and ‘Islamo-fascism’—this conversation has become too volid for me.”

What's going cool?: IPA: /wɑts goʊɪŋ kuːl/
Interrogative Phrase
1. (informal) Casual phrasing for “What is happening [with you]?” or “How is it going?”
“Yo, so what’s been going cool with you, mэn?”

wife-snake: IPA: /waɪf-sneɪk/
Noun
1. (archaic) A female of the sub-order Serpentes that is also one's spouse.
2. (slang) A licentious but domineering female partner.
See also: Anaconda (film)
“You killed my wife-snake!”

*Of course, these terms are of varying utility, especially considering that a full two (2) terms originated from misheard dialogue from the movie Anaconda, but I find at least half of these to be valuable additions to our ever-changing language...

3 comments:

  1. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Anaconda is not a particularly prestigious source of new vocabulary....

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  2. But "shittyshaman" just slides off the tongue in such a wonderful way and even "wife-snake" has a real-world analog in Coney Island, NY.

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  3. Woah, snake girl! Too weird.

    ReplyDelete