Fictionary Addendum №3

• cupcake: IPA: ˈkʌpkeɪk *
Verb
1. To intensely display affection while in public.
"To the disgust of the elderly, public park benches are often used for cupcaking by young couples."

• garb some grabbage: IPA: ɡɑː(ɹ)b sʌm ɡɹæbɪdʒ
Phrase
1. (slang) To have intercourse.
2. (slang) To break off a piece of "that".
"Yo man, you just need to get out to the club and garb some grabbage and you’ll forget all about your ex."

• towtaled: IPA: ˈtoʊ.təlɪd
Adjective
1. When the fees paid out for a car towing exceed the value of the car itself.
“When I went to the impound lot, I was expecting to pay a significant fee, but not that the car would be towtaled!”

• Xenaphobe: IPA: ˈzɛnəˌfəʊb †
Noun
1. One who is hostile to Xena: Warrior Princess.
"Look, I just think the main reason why he avoids the SyFy channel so strictly is because he’s an unreconstructed Xenaphobe."

* Thanks to Caroline
† Thanks to Reid

Tales from the Spambots: Lambert Academic Publishing

Good news, dear readers! We all already use the Wastebook for a multitude of purposes: for uploading photos of our friends under the influence (of alcohol, robitussin, ibogaine, etc.), poking our friends with a disembodied hand, and advertizing against President Barry "Beaux" Bama. But did you know it is also a legitimate venue to contact people regarding the publication of academic texts? Take it away, Lisa Thompson of Lambert Academic Publishing aka Verlag Dr. Müller:

Lisa Thompson May 6 at 1:46am

Dear [Herrence Meritocracy],

I came to know about your academic paper entitled "Left behind : the difficulty in establishing a viable left-wing alternative in contemporary Latvian national politics (1993-2006)", submitted in 2008, while I was performing research at the Eckerd College's repository.
We are currently planning publications in this subject field and therefore we would be glad to know whether you would be interested in publishing the above mentioned work with us.
LAP LAMBERT Academic Publishing is a member of an international group having nearly 10 years of experience in the publication of high-quality research works from well-known institutions worldwide.
In addition to producing printed scientific books, we also market them worldwide through more than 80,000 booksellers.

Kindly let know if you would be interested in receiving more detailed information in this regard.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

--
Kind Regards,

Lisa Thompson
Acquisition Editor

LAP LAMBERT Academic Publishing GmbH & Co. KG

Dudweiler Landstraße 99,
66123 Saarbrücken, Germany

Fon +49 681 3720-310
Fax +49 681 3720-3109

l . t h o m p s o n ( a t ) l a p p u b l i s h i n g . c o m / w w w . l a p p u b l i s h i n g . c o m

Handelsregister Amtsgericht Saarbrücken HRA 10752
General Unlimited Partner


VDM Verwaltung Aktiengesellschaft
Handelsregister Amtsgericht Saarbrücken HRB 16777

Board of Directors: Dr. Wolfgang Müller (CEO), Christoph Schulligen, Esther von Krosigk

Ah yes! I had almost forgotten that there has recently been an upsurge of interest in Latvian politics during the 1990s and early 2000s. And of course, "the Eckerd College's repository" has also served for over six (6) years as a place of knowledge, wisdom, and comfortable couches. It's truly a wonder how this undergraduate thesis on an obscure topic in America's 137th best college has remained unpublished outside of that repository's shelves since "2008"!*

Hmm, but wait a metric second--this all sounds a bit familiar. Though she is lacking a photo in her Wastebook profile (unlike the dashing fellow I'm about to describe), a similar proposal was floated to Your Editor by Mr. Emekagbor Richard of the International Journal of English and Literature. Despite the lack of any "$500 handling fee" in Lisa's proposal, this odd offshore publishing house--headquartered in Saarbrücken, capital of Germany's tiny and hilarious state of Saarland, but apparently also with offices in Moldova[!] and Mauritius[!!]--seems as sketchy a venture as Emekagbor's Nigerian/Kenyan operation.

Fundamentally, this "academic author mill" succeeds by stroking the egos of young and unpublished scholars. But, I, being of course Your Humble Editor-in-Chief, cannot be swayed by this, as I already operate the great publishing house that is the Volid Verlag GmbH. So unfortunately, I'm afraid your efforts are wasted, Lisa--perhaps I could connect you with Emekagbor instead?

*Thesis actually published in 2007