On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog. This is despite the fact that dogs have gained rather great prominence on the internet, enough to even challenge the hegemony of the feline. One popular internet figure of late is a Shiba Inu dog named Kabosu, whose thoughts and experiences have been catalogued under the pseudonym "doge."
Americans may know their memes, but they sure don't know much about history. Now, as textbooks have been made obsolete by iPads, we must recognize the need for new teaching methods. By choosing the name "doge," the denizens of the internet have offered us an opportunity to teach the Youth about another set of doges. Hailing from Venice, the *Most Serene* of Republics (and thus the chillest), these doges were in fact humans elected to run the city-state and its maritime trading empire from the middle ages until 1797.
Thus, the Volidity Report presents the Venetian doges in a vernacular understandable to the internet: