2.19.2013

Tales from the Spambots - DickSuperDick DickDick


America is full of dicks: Dick Cheney, Andy Dick, et al. Even Canada has its share! The internet, on the other hand, is chock full of dudes (though at an ever decreasing ratio). Why, there's Datdude successDollaz Datdude, and the merch dude. But as the Volidity Report's research and investigations have revealed, the spambot denizens of the internets tend to hybridize and evolve. We were still shocked, however, when we encountered this character.


Yes, of course I am speaking of Dicksuperdick Dickdick. Dicksuperdick Dickdick starts every morning with a bowl of spotted dick, puts on a pair of Dickies, goes to work (as Assistant Manager, natch) at Dick's Sporting Goods, then attends a political rally to support the DIC(K) party. As the king of the dicks and a dudely dude, Mr. Dickdick appears to be at the vanguard of a new generation of spambots. Is there any way for us to learn more?


Do we *know* him? Sure! Facebook, the grand arbiter of social interactions, even said that he was a "Person [we] might know." Let's see if he will accept our friend request...


What?! *We* need to lose weight first using Dr. Oz's method? Is he suggesting that the Volidity Report is in any way verbose and needs to be trimmed down?

Whatever. Guess who just got blocked! Judgmental dick...

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