Cooking with Volidity: Elite-zza Bagels

Except for Native Americans like Pocahontas and the Pilgrims, the United States of America is a nation of immigrants, and no city reflects that more than New York City. As a New York-based outlet of the East Coast lamestream media, the Volidity Report publishes cultural stories of local interest, to appeal to its constituents (especially those of means). A quick search of the internets reveals that second (2nd) most reported ethnicity in NYC is Italian while the Jewish community in the Greater New York Metropolitan area is larger than anywhere else in the world outside Israel. Both of these groups arrived in large numbers in the late 19th century and settled in close proximity to one another in Manhattan (in Little Italy and the Lower East Side respectively), Brooklyn, and the Bronx. In tribute to this cultural melting pot, the Volidity Report resolved to make an appropriate dish of melted goodness, and arrived of course at that great staple, the pizza bagel.

Thus did your Editor-in-Chief seek out notable local Pizza Bagel "just another Sarah" (part of a distinguished community of Pizza Bagels) in order to execute this with the same high level of quality as previous editions of Cooking with Volidity. Fresh local ingredients were sourced from farmers markets and co-ops across the city:

• Bagel Dough
• Organic bread flour (VT)
• Organic cane sugar (FL)
• Kosher salt (MN)
• Active dry yeast (WI)
• Sauce
• Organic tomatoes (NY)
• Organic onions (NY)
• Organic garlic (NY)
• Organic butter (NY)
• Fresh organic oregano (NY)
• White wine (CA)
• Toppings
• Fresh mozzarella (NY)
• Homemade ricotta (NY)
• All-natural coppa ham (NY)

Pizza bagel preparation is a three-step process. First, the dough has to be mixed and then is savagely beaten until it submits to be shaped as we please

The tomatoes are blanched, have their skin removed and are combined with the sauteed onions and garlic and simmered to make the tomato sauce

The dough is then shaped into round bagels (or--for the less orthodox--spirals), boiled and then baked

The toppings are arranged for maximum personalization of pizza bagels

And after a quick stop back in the over--presto: pizza bagels! It is worth noting that the gourmet experience achieved in this endeavor is reflective of the present day Italian- and Jewish-American populations, who have risen from working class tenement districts to become firmly ensconced in the middle class. Because of this, the Volidity Report is proud to call these delicious dishes "Elite-zza Bagels." Demonstrating the exclusive nature of Elite-zza Bagels, this Nice Boy from a Good Family shows off his creation below:

Look to the Volidity Report for the next in cultural cross-over cuisine! Will it be kimchi tacos or bánh mì? Only time--and the proper seasonal conditions and farmers market stipend--will tell...