The Top Ten "Top 10" of 2014

Was 2014 the worst year ever? Probably not, if you're someone who is aware of the years that have preceded it, such as 1914 (that is, unless you live in Ukraine). Good or bad, it must be noted that 2014 was a boom year for memes, series of useless books, and listicles, which are "rapidly becoming the lingua franca of new-media journalism." Taking that into consideration, as the Volidity Report is a serious journalistic enterprise, we embark once again on an annual tradition: the ranking of the top ten Top 10 lists from 2014, provided to you in helpful listicle format.

10) Spectator UK: My Top Ten Most Fatuous Phrases
Ron Liddle is right. If all goes well, in 2015, we'll all be using more words like "fatuous".

9) Golf Channel - Top 10 in 2014: Controversies
Were you as upset as we were when Patrick Reed called himself a top-5 player? Why, with declarations like that, he'll never make the top ten of golf statisticians, let alone critics!

8) The Top 10 Most Popular DARPA Stories of 2014
The U.S. government's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency proves it's still on the cutting edge with a self-referential Top 10 list compiled by the best and brightest of social media interns. We're excited to see how the DARPA #brand will grow in 2015!

7) Top 10 Items You're Too Old To Wear
Ladies! Fellas! Time to face the music. You’re just TOO OLD to wear those message T’s! "'The message tee boom was fueled by Young Hollywood [as] a way for people to express frustration.' And that doesn’t exactly come off as mature."

6) TOP 10 shipping container structures of 2014
Do you still think that shipping containers are *just* for shipping things? Then you're in for a rude surprise in 2015 when all your peers will have absorbed the lessons of this important Top 10 list.

5) Top 10 Reasons Libertarians Aren't Nice to You
Had a real Randroid meanie in your life this past year? Chris Cantwell totally gets it - and he's happy to explain why you deserved it!

4) The Top 10 Feminist Hashtags of 2014
As we all know, there's nothing the patriarchy fears more than ideas transmitted on a web platform preceded by a pound sign.

3) Minnesota State Fair Top 10 Places to Poop
If you were like me, you wanted to love the MN State Fair...but there was just no place to drop a load! And in Obama's America, you can’t just poop in the middle of crowded fairs anymore. But worry not Frustrated Fairgoers! Know that Cityblogs has you covered for next year with all the hot spots to squat.

2) Time Magazine: Top 10 Everything of 2014
Somehow anticipating the Volidity Report's meta-approach in trying to cover "everything," Time still managed to leave the assessment of Top 10 lists to us.

1) 10 Things Only I Will Understand
That feeling when Mallory calls you Steamboat...

№ 2, 4, 6, 8 & 9 suggested by Herrence Meritocracy and № 1, 3, 5, 7 & 10 suggested by LK Shov. All methodologies scientific.

Top Ten "Top 10" of 2013

2013--it was quite a year, containing many memorable months. Though we at the Volidity Report are often busy this time of year fleeing from Druid Rage and volunteering for the War on Christmas on the side of Black Santa, there is a tradition we need to uphold. As we internet consumers review the best photos of 2013 and look ahead to the inspiring images of 2014, there must also be someone to review the reviewers. Thus, following on our award-winning coverage of 2011 and 2012, the Volidity Report is proud to present the Top Ten "Top 10" of 2013:

10) Top 10 Overused LinkedIn Profile Buzzwords of 2013: Make 2014 your year by being as irresponsible as possible!

9) Top 10 Arizona Gun Stories of 2013: While some foolish liberals argue that the unrestricted ownership of firearms could be dangerous, Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne thinks that it is "inexcusable for teachers, students and school staff" at Arizona schools not to be armed. Let's see how that works out in 2014!

8) The 10 Most Gifted Rappers in Nigeria: Igbo is a Nigerian language that made its way into Carribbean patois, which may explain why the accent sounds kind of familiar. It works for guys like Phyno, who raps in his native language.

7) Top Risks 2013: Emerging markets--still risky! But forget the indebted PIIGS or the rising BRIC, watch out for the JIBs as big structural losers next year.

6) Top Ten Pearl Jam Moments of 2013: Pearl Jam apparently had such a busy year that Number 10 starts at 12! Familiarize yourself with all the essential moments of 2013, including the genesis of the Pearl Jam podcast, the week they spent with Jimmy Fallon, and how they changed rock forever with their bold merchandising strategy!

5) Top Ten 'most hated' celebrities in France: Why can't Nabilla get any respect?

4) Top 10 New Species 2013: Featuring the world's smallest vertebrate and the only reptile whose name could be a protest or 1970s English punk song, the "No to the mine! snake"

3) The Top Ten Pony Videos of August 2013: What have the Bronies been up to this year? Who knows? Watch this video compilation and get more confused!

2) Top 10 World’s Best Intelligence Agencies 2013: Maybe if the CIA wasn't so worried about being "the most popular" intelligence agency, they could get back to Number 1 where they belong. After all, "the Agency has the credit of being one of most swift in dealing with every aspect of world issues."

1) Top Ten College Women of 2013: Women! In college? 2013 truly was the year everything changed.

№ 1, 4, 7 & 9 suggested by Herrence Meritocracy and № 2, 3, 5, 6, 8 & 10 suggested by LK Shov. All methodologies scientific.

Top Ten "Top 10" of 2012

2012 was a big year for planet Earth, with 366 days of activities across the internets and meatspace alike. As druids celebrate the solstice outdoors in sacred spaces, and Americans celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by tweeting "#fuckyoumom for not getting the myPhone 4S", the bloggers of the world begin gathering the raw materials for end-of-the-year listicles. As demonstrated last year, the Volidity Report is no stranger to this phenomenon. But, standing above ordinary blogs and news websites, we would like to present (for the reader's convenience) the Volidity Report's Top Ten "Top 10" list for the year of our lord of tech toys 2012:

10) The Top 10 Chinese Searches on Baidu in 2012 (Hint: There’s a Lot About Corruption) 

Shanghai-based Steven Millward's list provides some indication of the extent to which the Chinese authorities censor online.

9) Top 10 Islands 2012

Though the Volidity Report is appalled to see that Staten Island and Long Island (the *longest* in these United States) were snubbed, we plan on campaigning hard for Florida, the Crimea, and Korea next year as the Top 10 Peninsulas of 2013.

8) 2012: Top Ten Signs of a Warming World

For all the haters out there. [and for those interested in the continuation of list #9 above -Ed.]

7) Top 10 Stun Gun Stories Of 2012

As *shocking* as these stories may be, given that none of them featured a catch phrase as memorable as "Don't tase me, bro", can this really count as news?

6) List of Romanian Top 100 top 10 singles in 2012
Flo Rida apparently had a pretty decent year in Romania. Who knew?

5) Top Contributors to Barack Obama/Top Contributors to Mitt Romney

A pretty necessary list for this past year, along with... [And if "The University of California vs. Goldman Sachs" is not the narrative of our time, I don't know what is -Ed.]

4) The Ten Biggest Sex and Gender Stories of 2012 in China

The Middle Kingdom seems to be just experiencing First Wave feminism at the same time that octogenarians are boldly embracing their nature as transgendered. We're looking forward to the Ten Biggest Women and Gender Studies Dissertations on China in 2013!

3) Top 10 Endangered Places 2012

The American South is full of natural beauty that is facing apocalyptic destruction at the hands of lawmakers who are more concerned with the biblical apocalypse and a populace likely more aware of the Mayan apocalypse. Something, something, Chick-fil-a...

2) The top 10 new species for 2012 include sneezing monkey and blue tarantula

Just like your favorite characters on the YouTubes, Earth's best new species of 2012 all have whimsical traits distinguishing them from less endearing members of their phyla!

1) The Top 10 Chinese Internet Memes of 2012
WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT "AIRCRAFT CARRIER STYLE"???


№ 2, 3, 4, 7, & 9 suggested by Herrence Meritocracy and № 1, 5, 6, 8 & 10 suggested by LK Shov. All methodologies scientific.

The Many Names of 황정리

In honor of the maybe/probable/possible immanent collapse of the Gaddafi/Khaddafy/Qadhafi regime in Libya, I would like to draw attention to another prominent figure whose name can be spelled in quite many ways in our Latin orthography. 황정리--transliterated from Korean through the Revised Romanization and McCune–Reischauer systems as Hwang Jeong-ri and Hwang Chǒng-ri respectively--is an actor and badass martial artist. He is perhaps best known as "Silver Fox" or "The Guy Who Made Jackie Chan Cry," but also served as the chief martial arts instructor for the South Korean army in Vietnam, where he killed a man with a single roundhouse kick in a bar fight. But his illustrious career is muddied by the many names he goes by in the Latin script. To set the record straight, I shall list them all here now (adjusted for name order):

• Hwang Jang Lee
• Wong Cheng Lee
• Wong Cheng Li
• Huang Jing Lee
• Wong Ching-Li
• Huang Jang Lee
• Wan-Chung Lee
• Hwang Jeong-li
• Hwang Jeong-ri
• Huong Cheng-Li
• Wang Cheng Li
• Wang Jang Lee
• Wong Chung Li
• Wong Zheng Lieh
• Wang Jia Le

What's in 15 names? Why, but a single man, of course!

8 Leaders, 4 Languages

Soviet Heads of Government, 1917 - 1991, in four languages, presented without commentary:

ENGLISH:

1. Vladimir Lenin
2. Joseph Stalin
3. Georgy Malenkov
4. Nikita Khrushchev
5. Leonid Brezhnev
6. Yuri Andropov
7. Konstantin Chernenko
8. Mikhail Gorbachev

FRENCH:

1. Vladimir Lénine
2. Joseph Staline
3. Gueorgui Malenkov
4. Nikita Khrouchtchev
5. Leonid Brejnev
6. Youri Andropov
7. Konstantin Tchernenko
8. Mikhaïl Gorbatchev

GERMAN:

1. Wladimir Lenin
2. Josef Stalin
3. Georgi Malenkow
4. Nikita Chruschtschow
5. Leonid Breschnew
6. Juri Andropow
7. Konstantin Tschernenko
8. Michail Gorbatschow

LATVIAN:

1. Vladimirs Ļeņins
2. Josifs Staļins
3. Grigorijs Maļenkovs
4. Ņikita Hruščovs
5. Leonīds Brežņevs
6. Jurijs Andropovs
7. Konstantīns Čerņenko
8. Mihails Gorbačovs

A List: Top Ten Facebook Political Views

I hereby present a list of the top ten Facebook political views I have had and have considered having:

1. Libertarian Stalinist*
2. Eco-nationalist
3. Shigalyovist*
4. Objectivist Relativist
5. Crypto-Feudalist
6. Hoxhaist Anti-Revisionist
7. Neo-Conservative Pacifist
8. Orthodox Lacanian Stalinist*
9. Sportsman for Mao
10. Meritocracy*

* Means that I have listed this as my political views