Key on You

As you may already know, fake bands can have real songs. But did you know that fake bands can also suffer from real tensions among bandmates? The key points of the Behind the Music on Dog Handjob that will air on VH1 (that is, if VH1 was a channel that still had any music-related programming) are:

• A project for forming a band and recording songs is assigned in Mrs. Wilkens' music class.
• The band Dog Handjob is formed by three filler kids.
• They have some really cool ideas for songs, like dogs, and movies!
• A certain Patty Sanders—who is either a shalimar or a slut, depending on who you ask—forms the key component of a love quadrilateral (or maybe she is the area of the love triangle, which would totally be isoceles).
• Their hopes for getting at least a B diminish, which sucks because report card time is coming up...

So, what grade do you think the members of Dog Handjob should earn for their song, "Key on You"?

Dog Handjob

So, a good friend of the Volidity Report, Squid Brains, created an exquibulary flyer for a fake show featuring fake bands at a real venue! Going to show that fake bands can also have real songs, the Volidity Report is proud to present the first single for the NYC-based "goo-beat" band Dog Handjob, entitled "Dog Handjob":