Tales from the Spambots - DickSuperDick DickDick

America is full of dicks: Dick Cheney, Andy Dick, et al. Even Canada has its share! The internet, on the other hand, is chock full of dudes (though at an ever decreasing ratio). Why, there's Datdude successDollaz Datdude, and the merch dude. But as the Volidity Report's research and investigations have revealed, the spambot denizens of the internets tend to hybridize and evolve. We were still shocked, however, when we encountered this character.

Yes, of course I am speaking of Dicksuperdick Dickdick. Dicksuperdick Dickdick starts every morning with a bowl of spotted dick, puts on a pair of Dickies, goes to work (as Assistant Manager, natch) at Dick's Sporting Goods, then attends a political rally to support the DIC(K) party. As the king of the dicks and a dudely dude, Mr. Dickdick appears to be at the vanguard of a new generation of spambots. Is there any way for us to learn more?

Do we *know* him? Sure! Facebook, the grand arbiter of social interactions, even said that he was a "Person [we] might know." Let's see if he will accept our friend request...

What?! *We* need to lose weight first using Dr. Oz's method? Is he suggesting that the Volidity Report is in any way verbose and needs to be trimmed down?

Whatever. Guess who just got blocked! Judgmental dick...


Tales From the Spambots - Who's Who of the Hour

We here at the Volidity Report often write about the Man of the Year and the stories [of the stories] of the year, but what about the men of the month, week, day, or...hour??? If even a dog can have its day, why not give man--a more highly evolved creature, with reasoning abilities--smaller units of time? Luckily, there are those who subscribe to this theory *and* wanted to recognize the accomplishments of the Volidity Report:
From: Lisa Davis, Editor
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2013 12:40 PM
To: [Herrence Meritocracy]
Subject: Who's Who in Academia (January 2013 edition)

Good morning.
We're writing to let you know that you received Honorable Mention in yesterday's article titled "Who's Who in Academia" by Joseph Bozanek.
The article will remain available at
 http://www.newsdigest.co/news/academia  for the next few hours and is free to view or download.

Wishing you the best of continued success,
Lisa Davis, Editor
News Digest International
Having previously received academic recognition from other Lisas in the past, we here at the Volidity Report were not surprised to be honored in such a way. But the idea of honoring someone for only a set of hours is a potentially a brilliant innovation for the Millennial Generation. As we blog daily, update the Book of Faces hourly, and livetweet our activities minute-by-minute, it is only fitting that we recognize people for their accomplishments over the course of a few Earth hours. When the Volidity Report acquires some unpaid interns or temp workers, expect us to use our tumbling Twitters to honor a "Volid Hero of the Hour" every hour, on the hour. Until then!

-Herrence Meritocracy
Editor-in-Chief, Volidity Report
Who's Who in Academia: January 30, 2013 - 12:00 - 4:00 pm (EST)